i carry a 40ml spray containing a 0.1% concentration of CR (dibenzoxazepine) and yes it is legal where i live. is this kind of spry more effective then capsaicin? because i have heard different opinions. people generarly say that it hits way stronger but lasts shorter.
Last night i was relaxing on the couch when out of nowhere i hear a blood curdling scream like some shit out of an eldritch horror. I ran to my window and this tall young man has his hands wrapped around my elderly neighbor by the throat. I have no idea whether he was mentally ill and simply aiming to assault this woman, attempting to sexually assault her, etc. I suspect he was trying to steal her necklace as muggings have become more common here. I did not get a look at the young man because he had a hoodie on. Within moments half of the neighborhood went outside and sheltered the woman (way to go to my neighbors).
There is a region near me where muggings are particularly common. My aunt saw an older man get the shit kicked out of him by three younger men. It tends to be younger guys (16 - 23) that are responsible. Someone almost mugged me too quite possibly. He tried to stop and ask for the time which seemed suspicious. I think he may have been deterred by the height differential (i was considerably taller). However, what to do if someone tries to mug me? Say they lay hands on me or catch me by surprise? What if there is a group? What if they have a weapon such as a blunt tool or knife?
was sexually assaulted in Walmart a few days ago while I was with my grandmother. Two men walking past us grabbed my butt. Since then, I’ve been feeling uncomfortable going out alone, especially at night.
I’m looking for a small personal safety item that I can carry with me when I’m walking or going places by myself. I’ve been looking at some of the premade self-defense/personal safety keychains on Etsy, but I’m not sure whether they’re actually useful or worth purchasing.
For those who have experience with personal safety products:
I’m mainly looking for practical advice from people who have actually used or carried these types of products.
I have a female shorthair German Shepherd, and I'm hoping that even though I'm small, end up looking like a minor to a lot of people, and overall just a young adult, that it is enough to effectively deter a grown man? I'd like to stop the situation before one ever happens, if that makes sense.
Like how to be more diplomatic? How to de-escalate a situation? I'm asking that because you might not have an option to run, for example if surrounded
Living in Scandinavia crime rate is generally low and normally I never had that fear or anxiety before about this issue. I guess the main reason was I still living in my fantasy world of being invulnerable or thinking it’s like the movies and hard to get hit. But these recent weeks reading about my country gangs stories and conflicts and ours being a small country the crime areas aren’t far away from each other. Just made me get a reality check how weak our bodies are from dangerous stuff and I guess I now constantly have paranoia or anxiety eveytime I see groups or people with the steotpical clothes and those what you looking at eyes. And fearing what if one of my brothers get targeted how would I react, revenge etc stuff going your mind. What bothered me most is that there has been cases of innocent kids and people who got killed by mistaken identity and I don’t know how to find the confidence back and not be afraid of it and being intimidated by it
Any advice ?
Can someone explain to me the reasoning behind these tools being illegal in some countries? The only thing i could find on the internet is that it could be used to escalate minor interactions but that could be said of a hefty handbag.
Hi,
I’m 19 and f for reference. Today I had a really scary experience for the first time in a long time. A man who was very clearly mentally unwell came up to me today while i was waiting for the bus. I didn’t initiate it at all we just locked eyes for a second and then he came up very close, honestly my ears went kinda mute after it occurred and i didn’t hear him but as i backed away and avoided eye contact he just kept coming closer. So i started to speed walk to the next bus stop but then he follow and really fast too!!! This was a tall shirtless 6’ man. Anyway i honestly thought i was so screwed i didn’t know what to do until a man interfered and said hey and got weirdos attention. He finally left me alone after that. This whole interaction left me feeling uneasy because what could I have done in this situation? This was not the kind of guy where if you say “i’m calling the police leave me alone” he’d leave you alone, he would just laugh in your face. I am beyond grateful there were people there but barely any of them spoke up except that one guy who caught his attention. I think maybe a car honked at him? But what i hate the most about this was that it took a man to deescalate the situation (this isn’t a hate post towards men lol), it just made me feel uneasy and scared because what if there was no man around, what could i have done to defend my self. I’ve dealt with the usual weird guys staring, some guys come up and talk to you, but never anything like this.
Honestly looking for any tips for what i can do in situations like these, Generally speaking i would want any type of physical self defense to be a last resort but any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Hey all,
I'm going to be starting a new job soon, my shift will be ending around 1 AM and it'll be a 15 minute ride to my apartment by bike. The route is going to take me through a quiet neighborhood, but it is going to be just a few blocks off from a major thoroughfare which definitely has some sketchy activities happening late at night (and even during the day).
I'm planning on riding hard and keeping my speed up to reduce the danger, but I'm also wondering if there's any sort of weapon which might be a good fit for a bicyclist. I've never owned any weapon before but I anticipate that being on the bike would make things awkward physically.
I train wrestling twice a week and want to combine it with something else. There are a few MMA clubs in my area, but I recently discovered there’s a Kudo club as well. It looks like they fight very hard, but I’m curious to hear the opinions of people who have trained in it—specifically, how they compare its effectiveness to other martial arts.
I’m 32yo and a smaller guy (150lb, 5’6). Looking to learn martial arts to be able to defend myself and my wife. I’ve tried boxing, bjj, and Muay thai classes and out and honestly liked all of them. Trying to figure out the right path to achieve my goal. I’ve done boxing the most at about 8 months of classes
M Boxing 1:1
T no gi bjj
W Boxing 1:1
Th no gi bjj
F Boxing 1:1
M Muay Thai Drill class
T Muay Thai 1:1
W Muay Thai Drill class
Th Muay Thai Sparring class + 1:1
F Muay Thai Drill Class
With the first option, although i get both striking and grappling, my main concern is whether I’m spreading my focus too thin
School is not helping. What type of fighting style is best to learn at that age so he can fight back if necessary?
Im a small woman and today I was borderline assaulted by homeless man who i assume is mentally ill and I realized I have no idea how to handle such a situation.
I could hear him yelling at a woman crossing the street as I was unlocking my bike. I continued unlocking it and didnt look at him. Usually ignoring works but unfortunately he started approaching and yelling. One thing he kept yelling was "why wont you look at me".
He kicked my bike then came in front of me with his bike and I had no idea what to do so I said "are you ok? can i help you at all" with genuine concern but also fear. Anyways he then smashed the front of my bike with his bike narrowly missing me and screamed fuck off then left.
I feel very lucky that he didnt actually hit me or do something worse. I'm 5'2 100lbs I have zero ability to fight back against a grown man. Its also illegal to carry pepper spray where I live.
it got me thinking what the ideal way to handle this would have been?
In terms of striking arts, which one would you guys say compliments a wrestling background best in terms of easily transitioning into and setting up takedowns and just any other things that you guys would consider good striking traits for a wrestler.
If I had one choice what would be the most effective thing to seriously hurt someone so they can't attack me and hurt me . Assuming there both ok to use where I live.
I recently purchased some pepper spray for self defense but I realized it’s not the 3 in 1 stuff that has Tear Gas in it. Would the tear gas spray be a more effective option? If I do have to use it it’s likely that it will be multiple attackers so I feel like tear gas is better since it’s not as important to directly hit all of them in the face with it.
I hike a lot.
I have been attacked twice by dogs requiring rabies shots, and one attack had pretty deep punctures on my hip and foot ( i was kicking the dog in the head).
I see black bears, and carry bear spray.., usually in a fanny pack that i wear in front, where I can get it very quickly.
The problem is..,I don't want to whip out the bear spray every time i see a dog coming the other way.
I want something smaller.
I was thinking of some kind of pepper spray that I can keep handy without it being too obvious.
The personal defense sprays; mace, pepper spray etc. look about right.
I just want some advice as to exactly which product I should get.
I was looking at the Fox Labs products - which would be best?
Wouldn't something that deploys in a cloud be better than a gel? The dogs are often moving very fast, and i'm not sure i could get them with a gel.
thanks.
I am a small young adult female, I have long term injuries on my back and neck and have to be careful with what I do, but would like to be capable of defending myself if needed. Please include details of and recommendations you have as I am not at all educated on any self defense terms etc. I need some tricks that actually work though. Thank you!
Hi I’m a male 25 never been physically strong maybe below average I started working out in the gym 1.5 years ago but still feel I want more of my body unfortunately I faced situations where I lacked both self confidence and physical strength and I really want to start martial arts but still have doubts as if I’m gonna gain strength or not it might sound stupid but I would really appreciate if anyone have some advice
Reading about gang crimes and how big it is in my country and how brown peole kill other brown people in my country. Made me very frustrated afraid and unsure. Mostly in regards to innocent cases that got caught and the perpetrators never get punished or convicted even if police know who did it. It jsut makes me realize how injustice the world is and people get away with it and idk if there is a god and it’s a hard reality to deal with makes me fear for my brothers too when they go out. All in all I feel it makes me have a weak mind that can’t handle rough topics. Sure I could keep away from it but it’s part of the world and reality and rather learn how to strengh my mind to be able to handle it so any advice ?
If you have ever been cornered or attacked, what specific skill or technique kept you safe?
Been thinking about it lately, and I've realized every grappling martial art has some sort of issue regarding self defense. BJJ allows guard-pulling nonsense that'll get your skull caved in in a real fight, much of Judo doesn't work without a gi (+ the higher level Judokas pulling some magical BS just to not land on their back, meaning they could easily break an arm) and wrestling forgets that fights don't stop the moment you hold someone for a couple seconds, they're still gonna be fighting back and trying to bash your skull. So... what is there to do?
(In fairness, this's coming from a dude who's got minimal experience in any of this so feel free to yell at me for being a major idiot. Also these're just ideas)
(Man do I sound like a bot lmao, but whatever, yell at me all you want like I said)
This dumbass keeps trying to start a fight with me over literally nothing. Like I don’t even know him and haven’t done anything to him and he keeps pushing me in corridors and taunting me. The other day I pushed him back on the stairs and he tried to advance on me but I walked away. I have a feeling he’s gonna start a fight properly soon, and idk what more I can do apart from knocking him down. If push comes to shove it’s what it’s gonna have to happen, but I’m not sure what to do exactly. I’m a boxer but I don’t street fight or anything like that.
Sadly i live in a country we're self defense is illegal and without a real firearm licens i cant even own a pepperball or Ram gun withe more Power than 7,5 joul
So my question is: Is there a way to modify an 7,5 j pepperball gun so IT hast any real Power? And what model do i need for my Projekt I saw a gun withe 35 joul online but If i try to ship IT im gonna end Up on an terrorist watchlist :(
Pls Help a man thadts trying to Not get stabbed Like my homies.
Hi all, i’m 21 years old living in a converted terrace house into multiple apartment units in London, UK.
My neighbour who lives below me is quite erratic, constant in and out all night, loud music, shouting and quite threatening behaviour. My other neighbour is a drug dealer.
Just wanted some ideas of self defense tools i can use in case something happens and someone with bad intentions comes knocking. I have a baseball bat, metal 28”. What else could i use people?
I am looking into martial arts training.
Cheers everyone :)
I’m looking to become proficient in a martial art, primarily for self-defense, but I don’t know which one to choose. I was considering Krav Maga, BJJ, Judo, or Muay Thai, as there are schools for these near my home; I even thought about MMA classes, but the ones nearby seem more like conventional kickboxing classes.
As I said in the title I’m a 5’11” 195 lb man and probably somewhere around 13% body fat.
I‘m not the biggest guy around but not exactly a little dude either. Believe me, I know first had size is not everything, and neither is strength even. I have had my ass walloped in some scenarios by guys 6 inches shorter than me and 50 lbs lighter.
I have some boxing experience from when i was a teenager. I was in a league for about 2 years so I can still throw a decent punch and have good footwork.
But it’s been a while since then. I want to know how much of a defense my size is in and of itself.
I ask since I recently went out with my girl to a club. I went to grab her water at some point and as soon as a left a guy jumped on her and started grinding. I pushed him away, but he came back and started pressing at me, but I just acted like he doesn’t exist and eventually moved on to bother some other girls.
The guy waa probably 5’9” and maybe 165lbs but of a normal build. Not particularly strong or muscular looking. If he had started trying to fight me, what would that have looked like given size and strength alone if he wasn’t trained in anything.
Would I have kicked his ass? Would it basically be a crapshoot? Would I have probably won but only through a ton of effort?
As I said, I’d like to know the optics, given that we both have 0 experience
A few weeks back, I was with a friend and he got into an argument with someone. I'm not going to into all the details of the incident.
This guy basically pushed my friend while he was standing in front of a store and my friend yelled at him, telling him that he should've given him time instead of grabbing his elbow and moving it. This guy came up front and it turned into an argument. He threatened my friend and I stood there like a bystander. Given that he's my friend I should have butted in and confronted him about threatening my friend. But I couldn't, in the moment my heart was beating fast and I felt scared. The only thing that was going through my mind was how I can escape the situation. My voice automatically went to a low pitch and I kept telling my friend to let it be. While he kept arguing with the guy.
I feel ashamed for being like this. For being so scared and getting a freeze response. I know this is part of my biology meant to keep me safe. But I just don't like how I lacked courage in those moments. As a guy it makes your guy friends lose respect for you. I did apologise to him later on and he was chill about it. But I just feel really ashamed.
I'm someone who grew up getting bullied and physically intimidated by people. I had never been able to confront people growing up and to think that I'm in the same place makes me feel horrible. Like I'm a loser.
I had really low confidence because of this and other reasons growing up. Now I lift weights, have a good physique, have some good amount of strength but still being so scared makes me feel like I'm still weak. That I never improved.
Ok team let's do a little bit of education.
Self defence is the act of protecting yourself from harm. This starts at preventing conflict. If someone is being problematic then you avoid them and move on. Hands on should only be used when evasion and retreat are not options and should be disengaged once an opening presents itself.
Trying to stand up to a bully is not self defense and is not a good idea. Any physical conflict has the potential to escalate beyond what you are prepared for. Injuries are also not a one size fits all type of thing. Even a small broken bone can create a potentially life threatening bleed and internal trauma is often left untreated in young people.
I promise you that your high school drama is not worth what can happen if a fight gets out of control. Walk away and be the better person.
I’m a small woman with a decade of martial arts experience. A hand full of times over the years I’ve had men invade my personal space, harass me and get aggressive. I responded by reflexively dropping into a fighting stance and they backed right off. Is it because I broke the script- they expected me to cower? Or is it something else? I realize it might look like escalation but they were already grabbing at me and crossing lines.
I seem have a lot of recent months or years. Always seeing them around at night reading the news how they Robb lr shoot people in Scandinavia. How they walk and look so intimidating and being able to call friends and large groups to back them up if they need it. And I compare to myself that I have no network or real friends or how to talk with people and make it into a relationship. I always keep having paranoia of potential conflicts, like what to do if one of them starts harrasing a family member or future partner and how I should respond. Or even just former street thugs who also have friends they can call to beat you up if conflict arise and me not having any friends I feel give me paranoia and I don’t know how to deal with . I’ look at myself as soft 0 tough skin quickly intimidated and scared. And in my head i imagine no one can screw with me and im tough when im not. Any advice from people who have experience so I can try fix my life a little
How to know if someone's following you????
I've been a bit paranoid lately and I just need assurance
So that's why I'm on this page
And secondly what's the best everyday item that I can bring around with me that's best for self defense????
My classmate has been acting a jerk with me for a pretty long time. He has gone out with me for lunch and isn't like a bad bad guy , but he's getting more aggressive and really crosses the limits. Since yesterday he has been shoulder pushing and I do get pushed and stumbled sometimes. Idk how to deescalate this he has been tryna have a friendly fight with me for the past 1 weeks. Any suggestions or advice on how to deal with this 🤔. Just to add on he acts extra tough in front of my female classmate , she doesn't like him.
Hello!! I recently found out from a friend of mine that one of my ex-friends has threatened to jump me many, many times at this point.
She’s 5’2 and 240+ lbs I think??
I’m 5’6 and 115. I’m slightly underweight but I workout a lot and as far as I know I have really good endurance.
She’s scrappy and has gotten into two fights as far as I know, And I haven’t been in any.
I would rather avoid a fight, but because she has a violent history and has made genuinely disgusting threats I would like to feel safe in my small town again.
Is there anything I can do to train at home? I thought about taking up some kind of martial art just to feel a bit better but I’m too poor to continuously afford classes. As I said I workout quite a bit so I’m willing to include training into my routine. (Mods I’m aware training pre-ludes to starting a fight but I genuinely just want to feel safe and would not be starting anything.)
As a taxi driver I had a weird client in uber that spoke only English and Eastern European, it was a long ride she looked very tired or exhausted and breathing heavry dunno if sickness. Someone had ordered uber for her and he was waiting in the car right at the crossing to a main route and behind him a big apartment complex for others , she says he is with him and steps out and goes into the car and after a little the drive off. This felt very unusual the guy looked a little buffed as 50 year olding looking and it just felt like potential human trafficking case with forced labor.
But my main question is in regards if you in your life see someone in trouble and the one who does the violence looks like gang member or someone in organized crime what should you do I don’t want to let them do what they want but I understand this world mostly sucks bad peolle often remain in top and it’s a big risk to step in and risk getting hurt or ended or targeted later for intervening. I know it’s rare likely but a lot of human trafficking and other stuff is happing in shadows. Some good influences who don’t post much ego sometime say they believe men or they themselves would be willing to risk their life for others if they ever see it. But I feel scared generally and wondering what you guys in your own life and to this question think about it.
My kid is nearing teen years and is rather busy with school, competitive dance and other activities. I’m wondering if there is anything for them to learn any techniques without committing to doing something weekly for years? They got a pretty solid base with core and arm/leg strength because at dance there is a lot of conditioning and strengthening but afraid that kiddo doesn’t know how to stand up for self.
Thank you.
Hi guys so I’m lwk weak asf, almost everytime I get into a fight with my little brother it ends up physical and I end up with alot of bruises, I don’t know how to fight well, I know I’m the older sibling and I should know how but I js don’t😢any advice accepted
Then if you ever need to defend yourself and someone grabs the end of the bat, all they'll get is the sock.
Compared to things like wrestling, judo, striking.
Our high school aged daughter has a stalker. She began noticing him yesterday, walking home from high school. Today, he followed her in such an obvious and creepy manner that 3 complete strangers pulled over to warn her that he was following her. He made 3 u-turns to stalk her today.
We are in California, and this is happening on her walk home from school. Police are now aware, but we also want to ensure her safety when our work won’t allow us to escort her home from school
Here are our Ca problems:
- The school prohibits pepper spray. (I am going to push for her to be allowed to store pepper spray in the office because this creep is following her).
- Any weapon options that a 16 year old can have in CA? (ccw age is 21)
- recommendations on personal alarms or sound devices?
We are enrolling her in “model mugging”, now that we understand the dangers. I am so upset with myself we didn’t work on personal safety sooner because she’s so tiny - and she was so unaware (wearing headphones, didn’t recognize the danger which was so onvious and concerning that strangers were interfering, she didn’t understand to use her phone, was too afraid to take photo, etc)
Thank you.
can’t have a m@c3, no f1r3arm5, if someone enters my home and i knock them out i’ll go to jail .
do i just like surrender my life
The reason I like the idea of having one for self defense is that since the blade is longer, it means I have more reach so I don’t have to get as close to my attacker.
I am a very strong 240 lbs powerlifter (405/600/700 for anyone this means anything to).
I had a confrontation where I accidentally turned off a bathroom light on a drunk guy (for a single second before turning it back on). The man cornered me before his buddies got involved and pulled him away. It had me thinking - As an untrained strong man, what would be the best way for me to defend myself / my family if running weren't an option?
I feel like these "Looking for a fight" types generally will outclass me by a large margin as a striker and my mass would make me tire quickly. I was thinking of tackling/wrestling/bear hugging?
I am a small, young woman, whom to everyone I come across looks like I'm about 13 apparently. I live in a very crime filled apartment complex. There is a lot of drug activity, some violence, attempted break-ins, theft, even sexual assaults. I am looking for good ways to protect myself, and definitely to deter others, both while inside my apartment and out and about in the complex. I currently need some physical therapy etc. so cannot take self defense classes, though I do carry pepper spray and a small knife.
Live with roommates who disregard basic safety and don’t give af to lock the front or backyard door, even after constantly telling them to do so. One of the roommates (35M) has tons (over 40) firearms just sprawled all about the living room unlocked with the curtains wide open so anyone outside can see them. Can’t move out due to not being financially stable yet.
My bf does have firearms secured in our bedroom which does make me feel safe in a way but not really, but I’m always having to get up multiple times at night just to lock the front and backyard sliding door due to my roommate (22F) being dumb as rocks. I can’t even go into the house by myself anymore because they’re never locked and I have to wait for my bf to get home before we go inside. An unlocked door was an invitation to come in by the night stalker. I have trauma from being assaulted and this living situation isn’t great for my well being.
The town we live in has a 60% higher than national average for crime, break ins especially, and this stresses me out so much(we live in SoCal). The doors to the home we are renting are very flimsy/weak and all we have for our bedroom door is a keyed lever handle and it’s not enough for my peace of mind. I am not on the lease but my bf is, yet the other roommates won’t bother to listen to our concerns over this.
I(29F) am 5’2” 145 lbs and I’m physically disabled so I can’t even do anything if someone does break in.
Does anyone have any recommendations for a door block to put inside of our bedroom? Changing the door to be a more durable (?) one isn’t allowed on the lease.
I'm 22 and lean, trying to gain some weight and wanting to learn to protect myself. What would be the better path to follow.
TIA
I am interested in getting into Martial Arts mostly because I want to get more exercise and go out and meet people. Tho another factor is I would like to learn to protect myself in IRL situations. I've been put in a few scenarios where I've been threatened and thankfully nothing came of it but that was usually due to the intervention of a third party.
The other night I was at a friend's birthday in a beautiful village in Spain. There was a local celebration with music and art shows, and we were sitting on a bar terrace around midnight. I was tired but in a good mood.
A drunk guy came over asking for a lighter. I told him I didn't have one, and he replied something like, "I'd only accept a lighter from a lady anyway." I jokingly said, "Well, nobody's going to give you one anyway."
He immediately got closer and started insulting me—telling me I should shoot myself, get out of this world, that I was uneducated, that I didn't use my brain, etc. I hadn't really said anything to him beyond that first comment. My friends were talking among themselves and didn't really notice what was happening.
I was confused because his aggression was intense enough that I started wondering whether I was justified in physically defending myself if he attacked. At the same time, I didn't want some drunk stranger to ruin my night. Looking back, I wonder if my first response was a mistake. Maybe if I'd simply ignored him, he would've walked away.
Instead, I let him talk for a while and eventually decided to ignore him. He then moved on to my female friend, bothering her, kissing her hand and asking her for a cigarette while she was clearly uncomfortable. I still didn't intervene physically.
Eventually he left. Nothing happened, but I had a huge adrenaline spike during the confrontation and felt strangely defeated afterwards. The next day I realized how much the encounter had affected me. I had let some random drunk guy get inside my head and ruin my mood.
I'm still unsure what the right approach was. Maybe the best option was to ignore him from the very beginning. But once he was already in my space and bothering my friend, part of me felt I should have imposed myself more firmly and told him to leave. The problem was that I didn't want things to become physical and I was afraid of it.
A year ago I had a similar situation with another drunk guy, and I felt confident enough to stand my ground until he backed off. This time the guy seemed much more willing to fight and I was also more tired to be imposing.
So, what would you have done? Would you have ignored him from the start? At what point do you think ignoring someone stops being the right response? And for situations like this, what martial art would you recommend—especially something focused on controlling or neutralizing someone rather than just punching them? How to act classy yet imposing in such scenario? What can I do now to feel better about myself?
I often see a common idea in martial arts discussions:
that you need to become “more aggressive” to be effective in self-defense.
But in my experience (teaching and training in silat/kali), it’s almost the opposite.
Aggression and violence are not the same thing:
- aggression can be a useful energy
- but violence is often loss of control
Most traditional systems don’t try to increase aggression,
they try to channel it — so you can act without panic under pressure.
I wrote a short article about this (with a bit more nuance):
https://gelanggangpenditabunian.blogspot.com/2025/05/violence-agressivite-developper-ou.html
Curious to hear your take:
Do you train to become more aggressive, or more controlled?
I recently purchased a 3 OZ container of some powerful pepper spray, and I felt safer than I ever have before. I even bought another one, which was more of a cone fog rather than a stream for certain environments.
While looking at the products and doing more research, I noticed my city only allows people to carry 1.25 oz of pepper spray.
Even before I was serious about carrying pepper spray on a daily basis, I had one that was 1.8-oz and did not have the slightest clue that what I was doing was illegal, since the majority of pepper spray on Amazon is over 1.25-oz, and it seems the most popular ones under 1.25 oz are the Saber 0.75-oz containers.
I feel awful about this since it seemed, other than a firearm, that the pepper spray I thought I could carry is now illegal, and I have to resort to lesser-grade and shorter-lasting products to replace the ones I have.
It seems the topic has rarely been addressed, and I was wondering if anyone has experience carrying a container of pepper spray over the legally justified amount, or if I should get rid of the ones I have?
The rule seems ridiculous since most people attempting to defend themselves may want a larger container. I wonder how the use of a 3-oz container would be viewed in court if it is legally justified.
Context: this video
https://x.com/AltRightEspan/status/2089733087538126899
Some say the man is weak for not returning the kick back , some say he did the right thing. For me , I think he did one simple mistake. Turning his back on the aggressor. I would never turn my back in any verbal altercations. Unless I can make a good space between me and the guy, or we settled it down by apologising and moving on. Turning me back give him an opportunity. Yet , this is weird. The guy kicked you and the other guy didn't do a thing. How is that the right thing? Watching this video boiled my blood , I felt I wanna grab the guy and fucking eat him alive. When should we fight really? I know physical fights have consequences. And we shouldn't fight , but even here??? At least hit him in the balls . Do something. But again , the whole thing should have been avoided from the start by apologising and smiling and moving on. That is the bigger guy
Has anyone tried these? And are they any good?
I'm looking for something that I can pull my S&W m&p 9mm quickly.
If you guys have any recommendations... I'd greatly appreciate it.
I'm 26M and something happened tonight that I can't stop thinking about. I want completely honest opinions, even if you think I handled it badly. I'm not looking for people to tell me "you did nothing wrong" just to make me feel better.
I'm seeing this girl. We're not in a serious relationship and I've only known her for a relatively short time. Tonight we were sitting outside her apartment building talking for a few hours. Her 20-year-old younger sister and 12-year-old younger brother were also outside, around 20 meters away from us.
At some point, three guys came over and started hitting her younger sister.
The girl I was with and I immediately started walking towards her. I was thinking about getting involved, but there were three guys and I was alone. I didn't know who they were, whether they were drunk, whether any of them had a weapon, etc. So I turned around to get my phone and call emergency services.
The girl I was with kept walking towards her sister and got to the entrance of the building. I followed her and called emergency services. The operator kept asking me questions like who was attacking her, why they were attacking her, etc. I honestly didn't know any of that. I just knew I had seen three guys hitting a girl. Eventually the girl got inside the building, so I told the operator that she was safe inside and ended the call.
The guys then started coming toward me and yelling things like "Who the fuck are you?" and "Come here, motherfucker." I went inside the building and shut the door.
A few minutes later, everyone was together in the entrance: the girl, her sister, their brother, grandmother, etc.
The grandmother, for whatever reason, decided to come out with a broom and threaten the guys that she would call the police. One of the guys walked past her, the other two stayed at the open door.
Then the weirdest part started.
The one that walked past everyone went straight to the girl I was with, put his hand on her shoulder and asked if she was okay. She didn't seem particularly scared of him and didn't push him away. As she nodded, the grandma started screaming to the guy that she didn't want anything to do with him anymore or something alongside those lines. He was holding himself and i could see it. I grabbed his arm, told him to calm down as lashing towards the grandma wasn't a good idea. As soon as i finished that, the other two guys pulled me out of the block by the arm. One of them was giving me a handshake, the other one was walking very close behind him.
They started asking what my "F*cking deal was. Who did I think i was, that they heard i acted like a big shot around here". That was the first time I've ever been in that area.
I basically told him:
"Look, I have nothing to do with this. I'm with her sister. I just came here to see her. I'm not involved in whatever is going on."
He initially seemed aggressive, but after talking for a few minutes, he completely changed his attitude. He started telling me I was cool and that I had nothing to do with their problems.
At one point, all three guys were basically being friendly toward me. Two of them even kissed my hand several times, which was probably the weirdest thing I've ever experienced. Imagine Marlon Brando from the Godfather. That's the type of "kiss" I received. They had been drinking, so I assume that had something to do with it.
One of them told me that he had slept with both sisters multiple times and basically warned me not to get involved with them seriously. Not in a threatening way. More like "You're cool, bro, don't get yourself into this mess." The girl I was with later told me that this particular guy was "a mistake from her past," so at least that part of his story seems to check out.
At some point I started walking toward my car to leave. One of them called after me:
"Bro, come back for a little bit. We don't want to run after you, we just want to talk."
And I actually went back.
This is one of the parts I'm questioning the most. I could have just kept walking. I knew I could get to my car before they caught me. But I was curious about what they wanted, so I went back and talked to them.
Everything ended peacefully. Nobody touched me and I left completely unharmed.
But throughout basically the entire situation my heart was racing like crazy. During the actual confrontation I didn't really notice it, but once I was walking away from the situation, my hands started shaking. Even 15-20 minutes later I was still somewhat shaky.
And that's what bothered me the most.
I don't consider myself a violent person. I don't start fights and I have absolutely no interest in proving myself by fighting random people. But I also don't feel physically competent at all, and this situation made that very obvious to me.
I keep thinking: what happens if something like this happens again, but it's someone I actually love? What if it's my future wife or child? Would I be able to act?
I didn't want to fight three guys. I know that's stupid. I just wanted to know whether my reaction was reasonable or whether I psychologically folded the moment I saw three people.
For context, I've actually had a pretty bad experience with something similar in the past.
About six years ago, when I was 20, I had a girlfriend who lived in another city about 50 km away. She had a friend who was about 15 years older than us. He was gay and had a big group of male friends.
One night my girlfriend wanted us to go to his house, have some drinks and sleep there. Every part of me was telling me not to go. I didn't want to be there at all. I kept refusing, but she eventually convinced me because she was my first girlfriend.
We went there. There were around 10 guys there. I wasn't drinking and wasn't causing any problems, but some of them were watching me and I could tell the atmosphere was strange.
Around 1 AM I told my girlfriend we should leave. She didn't want to, so eventually we started walking.
As I was putting my shoes on, one of the guys came into the hallway and started calling me a "big shot" and saying he was going to beat my ass. I pushed him away twice because he was getting in my face, but I didn't punch him. I told him to back off because I wasn't interested in fighting.
We left.
About five minutes later, two guys followed us. One was around 40 kg heavier than me and the other was significantly taller.
They knocked me to the ground and kicked me for probably around a minute. I couldn't really fight back because I was on the ground. I tried to flag down a taxi but it didn't stop.
Eventually I made it back to my girlfriend's house.
Then around 4 AM, her mother woke us up screaming that my car was on fire.
Someone had poured gasoline next to my car and set it on fire. Luckily the car itself wasn't burned, but it was clearly meant as a warning.
That experience taught me to trust my instincts. Ever since then, I've avoided situations where something in my head tells me "don't fucking go there."
Which is why tonight was so strange to me.
The moment I saw three guys attacking the girl, my instinct was basically "get the phone and call for help." I didn't want to jump into a 1v3 against unknown, possibly drunk men.
I still feel conflicted about that.
Part of me thinks I handled it correctly because I avoided escalating a potentially dangerous situation, got emergency services involved and ultimately got everyone out safely.
Another part of me thinks I'm psychologically weak because my first instinct wasn't to physically intervene.
I also felt like the girl I was with might have been disappointed in me. She apologized to me several times afterward, and she asked me to stay in contact while I was leaving for the UK soon. I told her I didn't want her waiting for me because I don't want to promise her a relationship I can't give her.
I'm not interested in getting into a serious relationship with her. I like her and she's attractive, but I don't want to become involved in whatever is going on around her family.
So my questions are:
Did I actually handle tonight reasonably, or did I act like a coward?
Was going back when those three guys called me over a stupid decision?
Is the shaking/adrenaline response normal, or does it say something about my ability to handle danger?
And most importantly, if I genuinely want to become more physically and psychologically capable of protecting myself and people close to me, what would you recommend?
I'm planning to start boxing when I move to the UK. I don't want to become some guy looking for fights. I just want to be competent enough that if violence becomes unavoidable, I don't completely freeze.
I'm genuinely interested in hearing both sides. If you think I handled it well, tell me why. If you think I was a coward, tell me why. Just don't sugarcoat it.
¿El bastón es frágil al golpear? Al ser extensible me da la impresión que al golpear se dobla por ser hueco.
¿Hay marcas de este tipo de bastones? Y si las hay, ¿Cuales son las más cómodas y útiles (menos frágil)?
¿Como reconozco un bastón extensible que es de mala calidad y no me va a servir para defenderme? (que se doble al primer golpe)
Soy una mujer de 23 años que se cansó de que los hombres la acosen y la toquen en la calle, así que empecé a hacer pesas y a practicar kendo. El problema es encontrarme con personas con armas. Vivo en un país donde roban mucho con armas y ahí no puedo hacer nada. Hablando con mis padres salió el tema de que necesito gas pimienta y otros elementos que las reglas de esta comunidad no me deja mencionar, ellos empezaron a decir que yo no necesito esas cosas porque soy mujer y soy muy débil para defenderme, así que no me van a servir para nada. La cosa es que siempre, ellos me enseñaron a jamas defenderme ni física ni verbalmente. Toda mi vida fui a una escuela religiosa donde ahí y mis padres siempre me enseñaron a que tengo que aceptar ser maltratada. Lo peor, es que mido 1.70 pero todos piensan que soy menor de edad porque mi voz es de una niña de 12 años. No vine a pedir consejos ni nada por el estilo, solo necesito desahogarme porque no tengo a nadie con quien hablar además de mi pareja.
I want the strongest one, I really liked Fox Labs 1.4, but the only store that sells it in Brazil is completely sold out, so can you recommend any others guys? I want the most powerful one plz that will cause the most damage, pain and suffering to the victim
For context I carry a firearm whenever I'm not at work, as my job doesn't allow them, but I am shit scared I would ever have to use it. Although lets say I am in conflict at some point, may that be at work or if I'm out with the gun on me. I live in a "duty to retreat" state and have no problem running away if need be as apposed to shooting someone and having to prove my innocence. Also the law in my state says you must match the level of threat in order to "legally" defend yourself. So what do y'all think about less lethal options? Tasers and OC spray/gel stuff like that. On it's surface it doesn't sound like a bad idea to carry lethal and less lethal because lets say I'm in a conflict where I can't get away, if someone is charging at me with a knife or god forbid they have a gun I'm gonna shoot them, but if they are trying to fight me, I don't wanna kill them nor do I think it would hold up in court. Not asking for recommendations, just what y'all think.
Hi!
Recently i'm having a dispute in my head regarding which option is better for a street self defense scenario. I have been attending this special self defense karate dojo for a while and I love it. It is Shotokan based, practices a lot of Kata, as well as applying Kata movements to a self defense situation, joint locks etc. The instructors themselves are former police officers so I assume they know their stuff when it comes to actual self defense. They also drill striking combinations as well as some throwdowns. Training overall is very fun, the community is great and there are lots of people attending. So far so good right? My problem with this dojo however is that there is almost no real sparring and realistic drills for applying those methods. Its all mostly scripted and choreographed. Like do these 3 punches and the other guy deflects and counters in this way. I did some light sparrings 2-3 times when the dojo was preparing for a competition.
Kickboxing on the other hand is straight to the point practical. Body conditioning - drills - sparring. I just miss the traditional aspect, which it lacks. In a real street fight scenario you dont have time to think about complicated joint locks and blocks, your mind reverts to the most basic movements you know, unless you drilled those complicated moves for years and years and your opponent is drunk or highly incompetent in fighting. Overall I have seen kickboxers perform really well against ''street thugs''.
Now don't get me wrong, I know Karate is applicable in real fighting, there are many traditional practitioners that participate in Karate Combat like Rafael Aghayev for example but his gym focuses on preparing for full-contact competitions while retaining the traditional aspect of the martial art but unfortunately I dont think a gym like that exists where I live. My trainers always say ''here we develop the mind, not brute force, boxing and kickboxing is a sport, you dont wear big gloves on the street.'' Ok thats fine but in order to apply the techniques you teach me there should be more realistic practice, right?
Which would you pick if you were in my shoes?
Recently started carrying a small bottle of Sabre pepper spray. It sports a Twist safety and I don't know if I should carry it in my pocket. I sometimes carry a backpack, but it wouldn't do much good in there lol, any ideas?
Hi everyone, I'm French—sorry if my English isn't perfect.
I'm 35, and I've almost never had issues with other people in France.
But things have changed over the last 2 or 3 years. Specifically since 2026, I've been confronted—perhaps 4 or f5 times—when I wasn't at fault, and I had to back down and leave the scene to prevent the situation from escalating.
It happened twice while driving, once with a neighbor, and once with a delivery driver.
The last incident was this past Sunday.
I never want to let myself be intimidated by anyone again.
This time, I decided to buy 3 "Guardian Angel 3" pepper spray units; I plan to keep one on me at all times.
Do you have any stories to share about this kind of device?
Have you ever used one?
Did a potential attacker back off at the sight of the spray canister?
What was your attacker armed with?
Thanks.
So I am moving to prince George bc and if you know where that is then you know it’s a bit um sketchy. I’m moving because my long term bf got an amazing job there. But it’s camp work so he will be home for a week and working away for two. I need some tips for self defence because as of now I live in a tiny town and have never needed it in my house. I’m not ignorant so I want to be prepared. Any tips to secure my rental aswell as for my car and my self aswell?
As a taxi driver I got s client who ordered a ride through a app normally we have 3 ways ( standard calling a taxi remain anonymous only with phonenumber , app with name , uber ) he ordered with app and had name on screen. So he is like those young thug looking but more chill( the type that maybe unsure about himself who ended the wrong way of life or crowd ) I drive him him mix way he says he has 500 and aka if I have change was unusual to pay now but I say ok and try look for change took me a while I told him I have 250 and can give 50 in coins but he said just keep the rest as tips. And rest of the ride was silent minding his business. When I’m there at a industry dark area his guys or group of 5-7 we’re waiting he said I could just stop here a bit of road before his pals spot and from there my eyes badly focus on 2 of his friends walking towards the car and I lost focus on the guy sitting in the car but he goes out says thx for the ride and then crosses the street and the 2 who are coming looks weirdly at him like huh and lifts hand like what. They all have the same clothes in my country it’s the type our thugs and violent people wear. Any idea if I’m overstessing or if it was maybe a robbery but the guy who I drove saw I didn’t have money lying around and changed his mind ? Or just something internal for them ?
I won’t lie I’m not used to that part of crown or dealing with that I am soft minded unfortunately haven’t. Ever been in a fight or gotten beaten so I’m slow to react or read the room and have no experience of knowledge to read these scenarios any advice for this without having to actually be in that life lol
Hi guys. So my brother wants to Revenge on this. Both guys are 25 yo, both ❄️ addicts. One knows boxing and wrestling and the other one knows kick box. They are known in town for picking fights. A few days ago they asked me if I have 10$ and I said no and the one who knows boxing punched me really hard in my jaw. Police won't do a thing. My Brother says he wants to start training something and give it a year or two. Then Revenge. How can he deal with a person who is constantly on stimulants? Also, how can I defend myself as a girl in this scenario? I wasn't expecting it at all and I don't know why he punched me. The issue is they aren't big but they sure know how to punch. I feel sad and my brother is pissed off. He wants to fight them and I know he will lose he never trained anything.
I was 15 at the time of the incident, had like a season of wrestling experience and weighed 140 pounds. Me and my two buddies were at a hotel during a basketball tournament, and we were walking the hotel. Eventually we wandered too far off into the parking lot of some apartments/condos that neighbored the hotel. As we were walking, a man flies outside his door screaming profanities at us, telling us to get off his property in a manner that was incredibly threatening. I was in the back of the group and didn’t really have anywhere to go, whereas my two buddies took off into the parking lot. I was left alone with this intoxicated, angry man much bigger than myself, so I knew fighting wasn’t an option. I made the mistake of bringing myself closer to him with my hands up in an attempt to calm him, but in retrospect that seems like a great way to get shot/attacked. Now me and the man are about 10-15 feet apart (I was on the sidewalk and he was halfway in his yard.) I’m talking to him clearly without sounding threatening, explaining that we were just from the hotel next door and had wandered off too far. Prior to us entering the area, some kids had run onto his property and harassed him/scared him, so his reaction was reasonable considering that he thought we were the same kids. He was still hot, but after I assured him we weren’t those kids and had just found ourselves over here, his demeanor changed and he apologized and told me to make sure nobody else came through that area later that night. I was pretty shook up after but I thought I handled the situation as well as I could and was glad I got out unscathed. I still wonder if just running and not trying to calm him would have been the right method, but at the end of the day nobody was hurt. let me know what you think and give me feedback for future situations if possible.
Before anyone jumps in with "you shouldn't use a knife for self defense, you'd just be arming your opponent", I already know that but I'm from a country that doesn't allow sprays or guns and if in a dire situation I assume I'd be better to at least try and have one than not, considering you'd be getting beaten to death anyway.
No I cannot outrun or right hook a man or a group of teenage boys. So, anything that can be easily carried around and would be effective against clothed individuals? Would a hunter's skinning knife do since I already have practice with it on animals?
Long story short, I'm an average sized woman, and an aggressive, large man came into my work yesterday. He was showing all the hallmarks of agitation the entire time I had the distinct displeasure of interacting with him, and even tossed a threat in at the end as he walked out the door. I managed to diffuse the situation and nothing but feelings got hurt. Great, mission accomplished.
All that being said, I can't help but worry he's going to come back and follow through on those threats. I know it was all probably empty bluster and bravado because of his quite honestly shitty situation (a reservation had been moved to a different location, and I was the first to inform him of this), and once his issue was resolved, he probably chilled out and forgot about me. However, a part of me is worried he hasn't chilled out, and that he'll return to try to kill me.
I guess what I'm asking is what do I do if he does come back? And what are the odds that he might?
Edit: fixed typo
Maybe it sounds like a silly question with an obvious answer up front, but is there any correlation between how built someome is and how much of a beating they can take from any angle of looking at the idea? We all know movies for one like to ham up the concept of the seemingly indestructible brutish huge guy, and it seems the snap judgement is that a big person must be tough, but just how much truth is there to this idea, if any at all?
Is there any device which is fit into my shoes or leg and when i touch someone with my hands or just body parts and the other person who touched m me gets electric shock enough to not touch me again - also a switch is a must while being safe for me like those shock prank devices- if would be even more better if i would have a button for extra shock incase of murder or help in fight with gangsters etc btw i have seen them in reels , there is a earth wire connected to bottom of shoe
Also, is there any reason why I shouldn’t do this? The reason I’ve noticed that this is hard sometimes is because I get worn out and my hits get slower when that happens. How do I continue to make them as fast as they were before?
So I'm going to list off a bunch of weapons and I'm just kind of wondering. Has anyone ever used these in any fights and how effective were they?
Kubaton
Brass knuckles
Tactical pen
Any similar Force multipliers that would fall under the umbrella of some type of punching device, whether that be a lighter in your fist or a roll of nickels. Or any other self-defense keychain doohickey that supposedly multiplies your force when you're punching or hitting. Such as but not limited to the Munio self-defense keychain, baby tonfa key ring, crkt Williams defense key, And any others.
Sap or a blackjack
Nunchucks
Contact stun gun
Big flashlight such as a 2D cell to a 6D cell maglite flashlight
Smaller flashlight with a strobe setting
Rattan escrima stick
Expandable baton
Walking stick or cane
Unbreakable umbrella
That's all the ones I can think of right now. I would love to hear any and all stories.
I think I start trial prep tomorrow with my attorney, my trial is in about a week for some really serious charges. what should I expect coming soon? I’ve never been in trouble and this is my first trial for self defense. What questions should I ask my attorney at the meeting?
If so can we hear the story? How effective was the monkey fist?
Few months ago I had a run in with someone who works next to my office, I was sitting down and dude was standing up and he started threatening me saying he was gonna beat the crap out of me, at first I didn’t bother but then I saw him putting his hand briefly in his pocket so I did my best to deescalate the situation because I didn’t know what he could have in his pocket. Well after that it turned out he wasn’t the thug he claimed to be and probably just took advantage of the fact I was sitting down and he’s at the least 20 years older (I was 26 at the time). Thing is I forgot the situation in a few days but now recently I’ve started to think about it again (he still works next to me and when I see him I wish he got in my face again to have an excuse to fight him) and can’t help but think I shoukd have just stood up and fought regardless if he had something in his pocket or not, so my question pretty much is how should I have handled it differently, if it was even possible
I plan on carrying pepper spray no matter what but I also would like something else to to compliment it.
My focus is protecting my 2 toddler brothers when I take them outside if needed, running is not a good option because they arent fast enough so my best bet is atleast putting up a good enough fight if not winning it for their sake.
My first thought is a extendable baton since its impact can easily incapitate legs/arms/hands. But i also am skeptical because extending it will cost time in the interaction but id like to hear your suggestions and comments
My SABRE Pepper Gel expired, so I'm looking for a replacement to keep in my car.
I want the most effective option possible—something that can stop an attacker as quickly as possible. From what I've read, a spray/stream seems like a better choice than gel, but I'm open to hearing otherwise.
Is POM actually better than SABRE Red, or is it mostly marketing? If POM is the better pick, which version would you recommend?
I studied Silat for a number of months only and while it was fun I was skeptical of effectiveness of a lot of the drills. I am curious on what others think of this art?
In BJJ even a child can quickly perform a takedown on me if I stand still and let it happen. Then thats only the beginning.
In Silat if a student was shorter or weighed less than me they would really struggle to pull a move off even if I stood still and let them step, push, pull and do whatever to manipulate my balance while I held in place.... then the drill would end after the move was performed.
Has anyone read Timeline of Self Defense by
King? I just got it and it is really diffrent… Not sure my opinion yet! It is a fun read. But very different from other books I have looked at. Just curious if anyone else has read it?
Faced a guy walking towards me and started shouting at around 50m distance. He moved his arm. I quickly scanned him and didn’t think he was a danger, more deranged, so I walked past him calmly.
In case he would have been a danger and I sense I must dash. How do I dash. Walking backwards? Walking on right lane, he’s moving towards me from the left. To my right brick wall. To my left open street.
What is the best option here to remove myself from his attack range?
I appreciate your help.
I’m a male. The class I joined teaches a variety of martial arts styles, such as Karate, Taekwondo, Krav Maga, BJJ, Judo and some Boxing.
What should I expect ? I’m an introvert so I’m a little nervous about meeting a bunch of new people. I don’t imagine we will have to talk much lol. The classes are one hour long.
if you had to bite someone what is the risk of you getting a infection
I understand that things such as sparring are important but what is the simplest martial art to learn at home at least to some extent via shadow boxing, muscular training (push-ups, squats, etc).
Statistically, what do you think my chances are in an average one-on-one physical fight against a random man?
For context, I’m 5’7” and around 180 pounds, sometimes up to 185. My best mile is about 5:45. I’ve boxed for about 7 years, have a purple belt in Brazilian jiu-jitsu, and I’ve been active in sports and fitness most of my life.
How would you rate my overall “character build” or archetype in terms of fighting ability? Against the average adult man, what percentage of fights would you realistically expect me to win? And how would those odds change against different sizes and builds?
I couldn't add more characters in the title, so that is how I decided to write it – I am aware it is possible.
So hypothetically, if I get in a situation where I have to defend, myself or somebody else, and if the circumstances are so in which I decide to hit the person in the head (as people do in fights, which I hope I never run into, but hope is not enough), thinking about it, it worries me, what if the hit I do is fatal? That would definitely not be an intended outcome, but every other consideration seems illogical for one's own survival in a moment that it's endangered. Should I, in a life threatening situation, think on how hard should I hit an attacker, gauging the risk of it being fatal in such intense situation (with even then the risk existing)?
Also, this is my first time on this subreddit, while I can surely imagine other mitigations that are better, you can't expect an average person to possess such agility, coordination, knowledge and practice to be able to neutralize threat with no risk of causing more than harm as a by-product than an experienced professional. Most people would have to rely on their physical defense insticts, rather than face possibly fatal consequences themselves – it could even be the only theoretical defense as well (if fight is already initiated and you are hurt already, and you don't happen to have a black belt to professionally incapacitate a person, which raises a question - should you always resort to hitting less vital areas?)
I tried my best to not make this sound concerning, but be assured that this is just that one impulsive adrenaline inducing random thought that keeps me awake at night, a what-if scenario, and I can't get over what if my action of defense could cause them to die.
When people get in your face and demand to know why you have a small pocket knife clip to your pants.
Or my personal favorite, why do you need that gun? What do you think is going to happen?
So i went to see the Odyssey yesterday and got into an argument with someone over the seat. My ticket did not specify the row but it was seat 11 and i can tell you for a fact it was one row behind the VIP section. I ended up raising my voice and he left me alone in the seat. Afterwards this dude comes uncomfortably close to me and tells me that we should take things outside. I just keep doing what i was doing and told him "what do you want''. I told him i would call the cops because i didn't like the look on his face. This dude was super shifty and kept reaching into his hand bag. I told him that if he had a gun then it really wasn't worth my life and that i apologize. I was worried about a gun or a knife and my adrenaline surged. My hands were literally shaking slightly. I showed him my ticket and he basically argued with me saying ''it wasn't fair what i did to him''. At one point he jerked his arm subtly but did not do anything. I followed behind him outside and thought about striking him to the base of the skull or using an RNC to deter him but he ended up waving goodbye and leaving. He also asked me whether i liked the movie. I have no idea what the fuck was going through this guy's head. His body language was very mixed. He even showed me his bag to reassure me. I think my confidence and unwillingness to move at his commands probably made him feel that a fight would be more complicated than just a sucker punch. Anyway, i'm glad it didn't escalate to something that could result in either of us getting hurt or legal involvement.
I suppose my question is what would you have done and what if the dude ended up sucker punching me? What would be the appropriate response.
I’m considering getting my girlfriend one of the Byrna Non-lethal products for her birthday. Reason being is that we move a lot and that can get complicated with traditional methods. I also don’t think she’d be able to use a real one if she needed to.
Does anyone have any experience with these products? Is it a viable self-defense tool?
Hey everyone.
As someone with a background in military reconnaissance and sniper instruction, I’ve spent years analyzing threat models. When I'm away, my biggest worry is the safety of my wife (who works late hours) and my teenage daughter.
I looked at standard civilian solutions like Apple "Find My" or Garmin LiveTrack, and from a self-defense perspective, they have a massive, fatal flaw: they are entirely passive. If an attacker suddenly knocks the phone out of your hand, breaks it, or turns it off, the map simply freezes at the last known location. Nobody at home realizes anything is wrong until hours later when you fail to show up. In a real emergency, you don't have time to open an app, swipe a screen, and press an "SOS" button.
I wanted a system that flips the logic: instead of shouting "I'm in danger," it silently checks in to say "I'm okay." If it goes silent, the system acts automatically. Since we all wear smartwatches, I built a custom tool for Garmin watches that functions as a silent, automated check-in.
Here is the tactical logic I implemented:
The Server-Side Timer: When activated, a countdown runs on an independent server, not just the device.
Silent Check-ins: Every 30 seconds, the watch sends a silent background ping. If you don't manually reset the main timer before it hits zero, the watch gives you a quiet vibration warning ("Hey, you okay?").
Automated Alert: If you don't respond to the vibration within 30 seconds, the server automatically fires an emergency SOS to a private Telegram group with the exact last coordinates, map link, and heart rate data.
The "Silent Phone" Trigger: If the phone gets destroyed, turned off, or loses cellular connection for more than 90 seconds, the server recognizes the drop in communication and automatically triggers the alarm anyway.
Biometric Triggers: It automatically triggers if the heart rate drops dangerously low or spikes above 140 BPM while the user is completely stationary (panic/struggle response).
We’ve been family-testing this for 4 months, and the logic holds up. It gives peace of mind without requiring them to constantly stare at their phones or draw attention to themselves in a dark alley.
I’m sharing this because I want to get the community's perspective on this approach.
From a self-defense standpoint, what flaws do you see in a "Dead Man's Switch" approach for civilians? If you were designing an automated system like this, what other triggers or fail-safes would you include (e.g., automated ambient audio recording)? Let's discuss.
When I signed up, the class teacher and I texted back and forth, and he said I was welcome to come to the first few classes for free. He said that it was self defense and a mix of martial arts. I told him I’d love to join, but that I am shy (I’m extremely afraid of a man attacking me and hurting me. My dad used to always scream at me, and at times my dad said I made him want to hit me, and that I had made him regret ever becoming a father. I’ve been harassed and touched and grabbed at every job I’ve ever had. I’m just scared and I wanted a class where I could learn some moves and believe I’m not helpless)
I told the trainer that I may need to just watch at some parts, and I asked if that would be okay. (I can’t have a stranger full on attacking me yet. It scares me and I don’t know this teacher.)
He said yes through text, and that it wouldn’t be a problem at all.
My boyfriend was very proud that I built up the courage to attend self defense because he knows I’m afraid of men harming me because of all the ways I get harassed regularly.
When I got there, one side of the dojo had some people who were laughing and wrestling. One of them was on top of the other, and I thought “okay. That looks scary, but he won’t make me do that on my first try.”
While he and I talked, I nervously gestured to girl who was being straddled and pinned down to the ground pretty aggressively. “Okay I don’t think I can do that haha” I said. He looked at me kind of annoyed, and said that a man may put me in that position one day and it will be too late for me to defend myself if I don’t learn.
My boyfriend has worked with me about my fears of being raped or harmed by men, and has told me that I will not ever get assaulted, and he has worked hard to earn my trust. Hearing this random new man tell me that men will very likely try to straddle me and pin me down was really jarring and it made me rethink everything my boyfriend told me.
I really thought I would go in there and come out with some confidence, but the teacher started talking about how someone might start choking me against the wall one day and “what are you going to do?”.
It scared me so bad that this man I’ve never met was describing all the ways I was vulnerable.
I said “I was thinking I could work up to that, but not on my first class. Maybe I could watch that part. I just can’t have someone like, choking me”.
He talked at one point about how I might get strangled against a wall (gesturing to one of the walls in his class) and “what are you going to do?” I just got quiet and said “I don’t know” and just kind of looked down. He said “you don’t know” or something like that? And he said I had to learn somehow before it was too late.
I kept saying that maybe I could work up to that, but that I was a beginner and I may need to work up to these things. He kept replying that I had no plan for if someone strangled me or something like that.
Eventually I made an excuse that I needed to just have a private lesson sometime. He said he would call me tomorrow, and I left quickly. I don’t want to talk to him ever again.
I got in my car and didn’t expect to start crying.
My eyes got all watery and I realized how much I had dreamed of coming to that dojo. I had imagined where my parking space would be every week, how I would make lots of friends there, over future years of attending and training, how I would learn to be strong and not helpless and scared all the time. I had dreamed that I could build up my confidence there, and keep trying and training, and pick up self defense or kick boxing as a hobby. I didn’t realize that I had so many hopes of this place teaching me how to push away men at work who want to touch me (one of them did today at work, and then laughed at my startled expression).
I’m scared, and I thought I had found some light in the dark but I’m just still scared and I feel extremely defeated and vulnerable again.
I don’t even want to tell my boyfriend I failed because he was so excited to see how excited I was to find a place where I could build my confidence up, over the next few years.
Quick note: Hey everyone, just a quick heads-up: I used an AI assistant to help me write and translate this post because my English isn't very good (or at least, I don't feel super confident with it yet). I wanted to make sure my ideas and questions came across clearly without any misunderstandings. Thanks for your patience and understanding! Greeting from Brazil!!!
Hi everyone!
I am currently planning to start my self-defense journey. However, I have a very clear philosophy: for me, violence is strictly the absolute last resort. My primary goal is to learn how to defend myself and others (family, friends, or vulnerable people) while prioritizing control and the safety of everyone involved, without resorting to active physical aggression unless it is 100% necessary.
As I am building my training schedule and theoretical study plan, I would love to get your advice on a few specific questions. Any guidance or tips you can share to help point me in the right direction would be highly appreciated!
Since I plan on hiring instructors for the physical, active side of training (like Boxing and Jiu-Jitsu), I want to dedicate my solo study time to the mental and strategic aspects.
In bodybuilding, you have very clear, objective standards to measure your evolution (e.g., muscle mass, definition, body fat percentage, or how much weight you can lift on the bench press).
I am mapping out a medium-to-long-term plan for my physical and technical development.
I want to take this very seriously and invest maximum effort into it.
Thank you in advance to everyone who takes the time to share their experience and help me kick off this journey on the right foot!
So I am 16M 47KG(last time I checked in Feb) and somewhere between 5'7-5'8 in height.
So I am having some people in my school who are always looking up to fight and while some go to gym and do strength training most of them are just heavier than me like 70-80KGs some ever more although they are smaller than me in height like maybe a inch or two.
Main point here is that I might get in a fight with some of them not because I want to buy they like to sort out things with fight and always have that egoistic personality so I want some advice how can I fight back if it takes place as i can't always expect a teacher to be there in situations where a fight can't be avoided sometimes
I'm a highschool student. I've never been in any serious altercations, and I'm mild mannered and don't cause issues with anyone. One day I was sitting at a lucnh table with my friend, and someone came up behind me and put his arm around my neck and lifted me up (headlock). I was trying to pull his arm off me but it didn't work. After a few seconds he released me and I just froze and looked up at him. What should I have done? How can I make sure things like this don't happen at school?
I came across multiple times people saying that it gives a stronger punch and reduced the risk of self injury. Is that true? And if its true is there any tool thats even better or specific designed for this purpose?
Hey, so I started Uber eats on my bike and I'm concerned about it taking me into a rough area. I thought about doing a belt holster of mace, but I'm concerned about the safety coming undone and id accidentally spray myself while riding. Or maybe should I carry a taser?
And by older I mean 50+, in decent shape, work out often, but have arm knees and shoulder joints and a back that act their age (ache) often 😝
Where does someone like that start (other than the usual weights and cardio which is already happening).
Would love to know more advanced techniques on self protection against someone who knows how to fight, take down techniques, effective holds, escapes, proper hitting and punching and blocking, anything and everything (and low impact at least for practicing 😝 )
Alright so that is the first advice every reputable person would give you. But how tho?
Those who have it take it for granted, like it is actually hard to turn it off. It comes with practice. I'll do my best to bridge the gap.
Use all your senses. I can't give away all the game because as they say the game is to be sold, not told.
Just be aware. Don't have your nose in a phone, tunnel vision.
Be loose. it makes you more receptive.
That one is free.
Read books like Rory Miller. Peace.
Only object I got in my house that I think could do some serious damage is that dumbbell, everything else would break/is too heavy
So I am extremely curious as to what it feels like. My brother has done it to himself multiple times and says it’s not that bad. I’m trying to get someone to describe what the pain feels like but if I google it or use AI to try and figure it out, it always thinks I’m depressed. I have such an urge to do it to myself but I am scared haha 😂
Hi
I live in a tiny island country where guns are illegal and they have extremely stupid laws when it comes to self defense.
Hell, even pepper spray is illegal here.
My country and neighborhood used to be very safe until now.
There has been a spate of reports of drugged up violent youths harassing women, threatening to r@pe them and most recently a bone chilling violent break in by two guys armed with rods threatening to kill a guy and these fellas were coked up.
For context - I'm a tiny 5'6 guy, there is only so much muscle I can put on when I'm facing guys twice my size who are high on god knows what?
First variable lethality - because of the strict self defense laws I don't want to accidently kill or permanently disable someone. If I do so even if I can prove my life was in danger I could be the one who ends up in prison.
Second variable - practicality given I'm such a short person.
After work, it was around 9:40 PM, and I like to walk in the parking lot to get my step count up for about 30 minutes. In the same parking lot, there is, I guess, a pickleball field. It’s a new thing, and it attracts a lot of people, almost 100 at times, many of them teenagers.
In this area, there are a lot of wealthy teenagers who have a lot of money, and their parents buy them fast, nice cars. The parking lot is huge, almost too big for the needs of where I work and for the pickleball field.
I had my earphones in and was walking. I know that the teenagers drive really fast in the parking lot because it’s so big. They speed, going like 75 miles an hour. So I try to be careful. I walk near the islands and stuff, which may not protect me, but I’m trying to stay aware. Maybe I shouldn’t be walking there. I’ve always walked there. It used to be a lot quieter and safer before the pickleball fields. I’ve been walking there for about six years, and there have been no problems, but recently it’s been becoming more unsafe.
Out of nowhere, while I’m walking, someone yells, “Get the fuck out of the way! You need to watch where you’re going, you white piece of shit! Cars have preferential treatment in parking lots. Pedestrians don’t have the right of way. If you keep walking around here, I’m gonna run you over, and it’s gonna be your fault.”
He then drove off and parked at the pickleball field a couple hundred feet away. He had driven around before parking and met up with someone. I was only about 20 feet away from my car, so I got in as fast as I could. I was very scared. I didn’t say anything when he was yelling at me. It was some teenager. I just looked at him because I was shocked.
When I got in my car, I had an adrenaline dump and had a hard time concentrating. I wanted to call the cops, but I didn’t because I didn’t think anything could be done. I thought about confronting them, but I didn’t because I know that wouldn’t have solved anything. There’s not much you can do when somebody is in a vehicle. What if they actually do run you over?
That’s the thing. They’re in that car, and they think they’re invincible. I don’t know. I guess I just have to live with the fact that he got the best of that interaction. If he was on foot, it would be different, but because he was in a car, he felt invincible. Stupid, spoiled rich kids. Perhaps I shouldn't be walking in the parking lot anymore. But a part of me just feels like if I leave, then I truly have lost. Part of me wonders my pride was hurt because somebody was bossing me around or frightening me and there's nothing I can do about it I think sometimes you just have to take thanks this is nothing you can do I wish there was something I could have done. I was thinking maybe I should've just told him to F off what if you would've got out of the car and attacked me what if you said oh you just told me to F off I'm gonna show you how tough I am and he gets out of the car and like I don't know shoots me or something there's a million reasons never to stand up for yourself a million fears
