How do I deal with the freeze response?

A few weeks back, I was with a friend and he got into an argument with someone. I'm not going to into all the details of the incident.

This guy basically pushed my friend while he was standing in front of a store and my friend yelled at him, telling him that he should've given him time instead of grabbing his elbow and moving it. This guy came up front and it turned into an argument. He threatened my friend and I stood there like a bystander. Given that he's my friend I should have butted in and confronted him about threatening my friend. But I couldn't, in the moment my heart was beating fast and I felt scared. The only thing that was going through my mind was how I can escape the situation. My voice automatically went to a low pitch and I kept telling my friend to let it be. While he kept arguing with the guy.

I feel ashamed for being like this. For being so scared and getting a freeze response. I know this is part of my biology meant to keep me safe. But I just don't like how I lacked courage in those moments. As a guy it makes your guy friends lose respect for you. I did apologise to him later on and he was chill about it. But I just feel really ashamed.

I'm someone who grew up getting bullied and physically intimidated by people. I had never been able to confront people growing up and to think that I'm in the same place makes me feel horrible. Like I'm a loser.

I had really low confidence because of this and other reasons growing up. Now I lift weights, have a good physique, have some good amount of strength but still being so scared makes me feel like I'm still weak. That I never improved.

Submitted 2026-09-05T13:13:15Z by Awkward_Implement324 https://ift.tt/30R4OMC

Understand the difference

Ok team let's do a little bit of education.

Self defence is the act of protecting yourself from harm. This starts at preventing conflict. If someone is being problematic then you avoid them and move on. Hands on should only be used when evasion and retreat are not options and should be disengaged once an opening presents itself.

Trying to stand up to a bully is not self defense and is not a good idea. Any physical conflict has the potential to escalate beyond what you are prepared for. Injuries are also not a one size fits all type of thing. Even a small broken bone can create a potentially life threatening bleed and internal trauma is often left untreated in young people.

I promise you that your high school drama is not worth what can happen if a fight gets out of control. Walk away and be the better person.

Submitted 2026-09-05T12:33:49Z by AntOk4073 https://ift.tt/lCHKp6Q

Why is it that simply dropping into a fighting stance works?

I’m a small woman with a decade of martial arts experience. A hand full of times over the years I’ve had men invade my personal space, harass me and get aggressive. I responded by reflexively dropping into a fighting stance and they backed right off. Is it because I broke the script- they expected me to cower? Or is it something else? I realize it might look like escalation but they were already grabbing at me and crossing lines.

Submitted 2026-09-04T22:05:58Z by bad-at-everything- https://ift.tt/rUXAWQp

advice to fix paranoia of having potential conflicts with gangmembers

I seem have a lot of recent months or years. Always seeing them around at night reading the news how they Robb lr shoot people in Scandinavia. How they walk and look so intimidating and being able to call friends and large groups to back them up if they need it. And I compare to myself that I have no network or real friends or how to talk with people and make it into a relationship. I always keep having paranoia of potential conflicts, like what to do if one of them starts harrasing a family member or future partner and how I should respond. Or even just former street thugs who also have friends they can call to beat you up if conflict arise and me not having any friends I feel give me paranoia and I don’t know how to deal with . I’ look at myself as soft 0 tough skin quickly intimidated and scared. And in my head i imagine no one can screw with me and im tough when im not. Any advice from people who have experience so I can try fix my life a little

Submitted 2026-09-03T21:59:27Z by Ok_Drummer6347 https://ift.tt/WsNXACx

Need help in how to strategize during a defence scenario

How to know if someone's following you????

I've been a bit paranoid lately and I just need assurance

So that's why I'm on this page

And secondly what's the best everyday item that I can bring around with me that's best for self defense????

Submitted 2026-09-02T12:41:09Z by ThrowRAsemperfi6628 https://ift.tt/E3gt4OX

How do I stand still after getting pushed?

My classmate has been acting a jerk with me for a pretty long time. He has gone out with me for lunch and isn't like a bad bad guy , but he's getting more aggressive and really crosses the limits. Since yesterday he has been shoulder pushing and I do get pushed and stumbled sometimes. Idk how to deescalate this he has been tryna have a friendly fight with me for the past 1 weeks. Any suggestions or advice on how to deal with this 🤔. Just to add on he acts extra tough in front of my female classmate , she doesn't like him.

Submitted 2026-09-02T07:11:25Z by artsypeace https://ift.tt/keuHUbD

Fighting someone much larger

Hello!! I recently found out from a friend of mine that one of my ex-friends has threatened to jump me many, many times at this point.

She’s 5’2 and 240+ lbs I think??

I’m 5’6 and 115. I’m slightly underweight but I workout a lot and as far as I know I have really good endurance.
She’s scrappy and has gotten into two fights as far as I know, And I haven’t been in any.

I would rather avoid a fight, but because she has a violent history and has made genuinely disgusting threats I would like to feel safe in my small town again.

Is there anything I can do to train at home? I thought about taking up some kind of martial art just to feel a bit better but I’m too poor to continuously afford classes. As I said I workout quite a bit so I’m willing to include training into my routine. (Mods I’m aware training pre-ludes to starting a fight but I genuinely just want to feel safe and would not be starting anything.)

Submitted 2026-09-01T22:19:41Z by Rough-Classroom-5930 https://ift.tt/MGPO1fd