I’m 5’11 195lbs mostly muscle. How helpful is my build a w/o training

As I said in the title I’m a 5’11” 195 lb man and probably somewhere around 13% body fat.

I‘m not the biggest guy around but not exactly a little dude either. Believe me, I know first had size is not everything, and neither is strength even. I have had my ass walloped in some scenarios by guys 6 inches shorter than me and 50 lbs lighter.

I have some boxing experience from when i was a teenager. I was in a league for about 2 years so I can still throw a decent punch and have good footwork.

But it’s been a while since then. I want to know how much of a defense my size is in and of itself.

I ask since I recently went out with my girl to a club. I went to grab her water at some point and as soon as a left a guy jumped on her and started grinding. I pushed him away, but he came back and started pressing at me, but I just acted like he doesn’t exist and eventually moved on to bother some other girls.

The guy waa probably 5’9” and maybe 165lbs but of a normal build. Not particularly strong or muscular looking. If he had started trying to fight me, what would that have looked like given size and strength alone if he wasn’t trained in anything.

Would I have kicked his ass? Would it basically be a crapshoot? Would I have probably won but only through a ton of effort?

As I said, I’d like to know the optics, given that we both have 0 experience

Submitted 2026-09-06T10:18:54Z by Appropriate_Hope_383 https://ift.tt/HC2s3aY

How do I deal with the freeze response?

A few weeks back, I was with a friend and he got into an argument with someone. I'm not going to into all the details of the incident.

This guy basically pushed my friend while he was standing in front of a store and my friend yelled at him, telling him that he should've given him time instead of grabbing his elbow and moving it. This guy came up front and it turned into an argument. He threatened my friend and I stood there like a bystander. Given that he's my friend I should have butted in and confronted him about threatening my friend. But I couldn't, in the moment my heart was beating fast and I felt scared. The only thing that was going through my mind was how I can escape the situation. My voice automatically went to a low pitch and I kept telling my friend to let it be. While he kept arguing with the guy.

I feel ashamed for being like this. For being so scared and getting a freeze response. I know this is part of my biology meant to keep me safe. But I just don't like how I lacked courage in those moments. As a guy it makes your guy friends lose respect for you. I did apologise to him later on and he was chill about it. But I just feel really ashamed.

I'm someone who grew up getting bullied and physically intimidated by people. I had never been able to confront people growing up and to think that I'm in the same place makes me feel horrible. Like I'm a loser.

I had really low confidence because of this and other reasons growing up. Now I lift weights, have a good physique, have some good amount of strength but still being so scared makes me feel like I'm still weak. That I never improved.

Submitted 2026-09-05T13:13:15Z by Awkward_Implement324 https://ift.tt/30R4OMC

Understand the difference

Ok team let's do a little bit of education.

Self defence is the act of protecting yourself from harm. This starts at preventing conflict. If someone is being problematic then you avoid them and move on. Hands on should only be used when evasion and retreat are not options and should be disengaged once an opening presents itself.

Trying to stand up to a bully is not self defense and is not a good idea. Any physical conflict has the potential to escalate beyond what you are prepared for. Injuries are also not a one size fits all type of thing. Even a small broken bone can create a potentially life threatening bleed and internal trauma is often left untreated in young people.

I promise you that your high school drama is not worth what can happen if a fight gets out of control. Walk away and be the better person.

Submitted 2026-09-05T12:33:49Z by AntOk4073 https://ift.tt/lCHKp6Q

Why is it that simply dropping into a fighting stance works?

I’m a small woman with a decade of martial arts experience. A hand full of times over the years I’ve had men invade my personal space, harass me and get aggressive. I responded by reflexively dropping into a fighting stance and they backed right off. Is it because I broke the script- they expected me to cower? Or is it something else? I realize it might look like escalation but they were already grabbing at me and crossing lines.

Submitted 2026-09-04T22:05:58Z by bad-at-everything- https://ift.tt/rUXAWQp

advice to fix paranoia of having potential conflicts with gangmembers

I seem have a lot of recent months or years. Always seeing them around at night reading the news how they Robb lr shoot people in Scandinavia. How they walk and look so intimidating and being able to call friends and large groups to back them up if they need it. And I compare to myself that I have no network or real friends or how to talk with people and make it into a relationship. I always keep having paranoia of potential conflicts, like what to do if one of them starts harrasing a family member or future partner and how I should respond. Or even just former street thugs who also have friends they can call to beat you up if conflict arise and me not having any friends I feel give me paranoia and I don’t know how to deal with . I’ look at myself as soft 0 tough skin quickly intimidated and scared. And in my head i imagine no one can screw with me and im tough when im not. Any advice from people who have experience so I can try fix my life a little

Submitted 2026-09-03T21:59:27Z by Ok_Drummer6347 https://ift.tt/WsNXACx

Need help in how to strategize during a defence scenario

How to know if someone's following you????

I've been a bit paranoid lately and I just need assurance

So that's why I'm on this page

And secondly what's the best everyday item that I can bring around with me that's best for self defense????

Submitted 2026-09-02T12:41:09Z by ThrowRAsemperfi6628 https://ift.tt/E3gt4OX

How do I stand still after getting pushed?

My classmate has been acting a jerk with me for a pretty long time. He has gone out with me for lunch and isn't like a bad bad guy , but he's getting more aggressive and really crosses the limits. Since yesterday he has been shoulder pushing and I do get pushed and stumbled sometimes. Idk how to deescalate this he has been tryna have a friendly fight with me for the past 1 weeks. Any suggestions or advice on how to deal with this 🤔. Just to add on he acts extra tough in front of my female classmate , she doesn't like him.

Submitted 2026-09-02T07:11:25Z by artsypeace https://ift.tt/keuHUbD