Frustrated and upset

So I’m 26, weight 105Ibs, and have Cerebral Palsy. I made a post how I purchased my first firearm for carry in my life it’s a Springfield Hellcat Pro 9mm but I’m too weak to load the magazine even with a loading tool (my step dad has to load my mags for me) and I find the weapon cleaning too difficult (not strong enough) among other things and I’m just frustrated this is something I physically just CANNOT do it’s too hard for me.I was thinking of maybe a revolver (kick isn’t an issue or firing just the physical Maintenance and loading) easy to reload and clean. It’s got me so frustrated I put it in my gun case and haven’t carried for a few days. What do I do? via /r/CCW https://ift.tt/phbH27S