Conflicted about first gun purchase. Some advice?

I know this is primarily a CCW discussion sub but I really want to buy my first firearm soon. I’ve shot lots of different pistols through the years going to the gun range with my friend. I’ve also taken a gun safety class and have watched many many hours of videos on YouTube from all the popular YouTubers in the gun community, tons of active self protection videos. I practice safety to an extreme degree and believe I’m mentally capable of owning a firearm now.I first originally wanted to buy a pistol for home defense. I didn’t really intend on ever carrying until I got into EDC. I do think I’m ready to start conceal carrying but I’m not sure. The problem is I don’t know what gun I should buy first. If I do consider CCW obviously I’d want to buy a sub compact. I’m not really comfortably with EDCing a bigger pistol such as a Glock 19 or something similar. I’d want it to be small and compact, something that disappears. But I know small guns aren’t the best first firearms because they’re harder to shoot. Obviously it would be there for home protection to, I mean any gun is better than no gun right?I kind of do like the idea of just owning one firearm that can do it all, but if I carry it I want it to be very small. I’m thinking Shield, p365, Glock 43 small, or even a revolver like a J frame. Or should I consider a full size and stick to home defense for now? I’m not really someone that would visit the range often I imagine, I mean not for recreation at least. Just to train and be proficient with my weapon. I don’t really find pistols fun to shoot anyways, for fun target shooting I’m a rifle guy.Should I consider getting something more full sized first like a Glock 19 or larger Shield maybe? Or do you think a sub compact could at least cover both ends for now? So get a bigger gun for home defense and a carry gun? Obviously I don’t have the funds to buy both at once and if that was the most practical I’d want to stagger it, I still like the idea of only owning one though.I realize I’m buying a pistol for that 1 and a million scenario that something absolutely horrific could go down in my home or everyday life encounters, outside of a gun range to train and fire my weapon I honestly just hope I would never, ever have to use it and it could just stay in my drawer or holster forever. via /r/CCW https://ift.tt/3jWoEi6