Sorry not a CCW question, but still falls under rule 1B self-defense and hoping I can hear opinions about shotgun shells for home defense (or any shotgun advice, really)

I've seen a lot of youtube videos where they shoot some melons with birdshot and buckshot and say "eh basically same effect," (also watched some ballistic gel vids) and seen some arguments that for home-defense, shotgun-owners would or should be worried about over-penetration and hit a family member in the next room. I've also seen arguments like (almost verbatim) "trust me, they're going to leave if you shoot them with birdshot," and "I don't really want to kill anyone, so this is perfect." Am I a little crazy for absolutely not trusting my life (and family) to a round designed to kill small game? I mean, I've seen an unaware woman shot center of mass with birdshot at about 5 feet, stop, then walk the other way. (Link: https://youtu.be/_F_KuFzjOGA )I CCW outside the home but have been thinking a shotgun would be great for inside the home, which led me down the trail of which shell to use. Anyone really familiar with this stuff or at least heard from people who are? Welcoming all kinds of feedback, pro-birdshot, anti-birdshot, pro-shotgun, pro-zap carry 44 magnum. Links to any material also welcome.Sorry for lengthy post or if I broke any rules. Thanks for reading and feedback. via /r/CCW http://bit.ly/2WQWZ80