I'm a 23 year old guy and apart from some very basic BJJ training I have no fighting skills. A couple of weeks ago I had a female friend of mine visiting me. Me, her and another girl were drinking in this pub (UK). After the smoking area closed we moved to find a free table. We were quite drunk and on LSD and we sit down on this table and there's two cans of beer on it. My friend picks them up saying "Damn, how am I so good at finding free booze" and this big dude, looking kind of like a skinhead/football hooligan comes up to us to pick up the cans. I'm in a friendly drunk mood and say "aaaah, look at us, thinking we had gotten lucky, here you go dude, these must be yours".
This guy seems to take this as disrespect, gets super close up in my face and starts telling me how he's going to drive those cans of beer through my teeth and how I shouldn't mess him around yadayada. All of my life I've been quite terrified of physical violence and have always managed to deescalate situations by being apologetic or running, so I start apologising and he turns around. My friend, who is quite confrontational as a person starts laughing out loud and the guy returns and starts telling me "ooooh, this is how you're apologising, through laughing, is it? Well I'm a fucking horrible cunt, do you understand?" and keeps on explaining to me all of the terrible things he's going to do to me. Meanwhile his mates are surrounding us, and the security is not doing anything about it. I get the vibe that this is the pub's resident coke dealer or something like that and that if he jumps us there will be no repercussions for him.
I keep on apologising and telling him that I'm just going to leave and apologising and trying to deescalate, go up to the two girls and I'm like ok, we have to go now. Them, being girls and drunk don't seem to realise the gravity of the situation and start giving the guy the finger, shouting "fuck you" at him and generally doing all kinds of absolute bullshit escalation while I'm frantically trying to get them to just pick up their shit and go. This goes on for another minute until we finally make it out. The girls are trying to convince me that it isn't a big deal and we should stick around and after I do my best to explain to them that I ain't trying to measure my dick against anyone and just want us to go home safe without getting in any conflict we dash.
The situation left me quite shook and I'm now looking into picking up some martial art, because I am not OK with how terrified I was at the threat of violence at the time. Furthermore I was on LSD so his face and his threats and the way I felt really left a very strong impression on me.
The problem is that this pub is a place that I used to visit quite often and that my friends go to quite often. I am now scared of going back there, because I do not want this guy to see me and to fuck me up. Already I turned down a few invites from friends to go drinking with them there, because I want to avoid bumping into that guy. I don't want to live the rest of my life in fear of that guy and also ideally I wouldn't like to have to explain to everyone who ends up suggesting that we go to that place that there's a guy that scared the living shit out of me there. Don't really know what to do about this situation so any suggestions are very welcome. Thank you! : ]
Submitted September 19, 2018 at 05:31AM by ogradman https://ift.tt/2MNXZTU
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