I was getting gas at a gas station this weekend. I went inside to grab a drink while the pumps were running glacially slow (like it took over 15 min to pump a tank of gas). As the pumps finished I decided I also needed to go back in and pee, so I moved my car from the pumps to the parking area since it was busy.As I was pulling into the parking spot, I notice a red Dodge Durango pull up and stop quickly two spots to my left. I recognized the red Durango because it had been parked crooked (like 30degrees) across handicapped spots when I left the store with my drink 3 minutes earlier, and had walked past it. I had looked casually to see any handicapped plates or tags (there were none, FWIW) but didn't see any driver or passenger in or around it.The Durango pulled up as I was opening my door with my left leg already out. The Durango driver threw his door open quickly and was immediately yelling angrily as he gets out. He was a Hispanic male in "wifebeater" undershirt, about 5'10" and muscular to my 5'11" and dad bod. My immediate thought was that he wanted to fight, not to receive some sort of apology, so instead of climbing out of the car to try verbal de-escalation, where he could have easily put hands on me while I was still getting out (he was 10ft away), I pulled my leg in, closed and locked the door.He got with 3ft of my window and continued yelling about how I was a pussy, a punk, and how I backed down and needed to get out of my car. While I sat in the car I looked closely at his face and kind of forgot until several seconds had passed to also look at his hands/waist. I kept a flat face and did not respond verbally. I may have nodded slightly or raised my eyebrows, I'm not really sure. I "fig-leafed" as inconspicuously as possible over my AIWB on the off chance he reached for a weapon or got a rock or something to try and come through the window.After about 15seconds of screaming, he went back to his car and it was only at that time that I noticed a female in the passenger seat that I THINK was yelling at him (could have been yelling at me). Then he drove off.This is the first "altercation" that I have been involved in since I started carrying. My thoughts/questions:I don't know what set him off, maybe he thought I was sizing up him/his girl/his ride when I looked at his car (illegally parked sideways in a handicapped spot, do you really expect people not to look at that?)I was (surprisingly) amazingly calm, both during and after. I was totally OK with "losing" the argument. Before CCW, that would have bugged me/my ego. I probably would have gotten out of the car, told him "whatever man" and tried to go inside the gas station while we jawwed at each other, where I would have had to let a bit of adrenaline wear off afterwards. Or if I had stayed in the car it would have bugged me all day that I didn't say something back to him. But I had zero adrenaline and zero regrets about anything how it happened.I had the presence of mind to be aware of his hands and had planned to draw concealed below the window if he reached for his waist/pockets. If he had produced a knife I would have stayed weapon down, and only raised / fired if he produced a gun. I thought about firing from a compressed ready, and I thought about how bad the tinnitus would be for the rest of my life. I was surprised all of that went through my head in a few seconds. But I didn't notice the passenger until after.QUESTION: The question that I'm debating is - once locked in my car, should I have cracked my window to offer an apology in an attempt to deescalate? I could see how some aggressors might take my flat face / silent treatment from behind a locked door as an ego challenge and be further escalated by it. The downside to cracking window for an apology is that while it's hard to punch through a car window, you can grab the edge of a window and break it easily. via /r/CCW https://ift.tt/3o4Oo0T
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