Is it bad to expect my friends not to be cowards?

I am a guy in my 20s walking down with my male friend of the same age from college. We were just talking when suddenly a jogger shoulder barged me in a manner that was quite clearly deliberate as he was coming past me. Obviously, I was highly irritated by this and so I shouted out "fucking watch where you're going", he looks back at me saying "YEAH YOU GOT A PROBLEM? FUCKING BITCH". At which point, before I could say anything back my friend spoke for me saying to the jogger "nah don't worry mate its fine" and dragging me away by the arm, telling me not to get angry. He was clearly panicked and scared that I would escalate things.

There are a couple of things to note, firstly, I am not stupid. I know when something is worth fighting for and when it isn't. I wasn't about to chase the jogger down the street to fight him, but I was also not going to say nothing and let him walk over me, so I called out to him once, he clearly wasn't sorry and wanted to be the big man, I would have walked away at that point regardless. It's not that I think we should have stood and fought together, it's just how eager my friend was to avoid conflict at all costs and how he sucked up to the jogger because he really was frightened of a fight happening. Obviously don't create problems where they don't need to be, but living in fear? What's he going to do if walking away isn't an option? Secondly, me and my friend clearly come from very different places in life; I was in fights in school and witnessed / was involved in violence often growing up and I have several years of experience in martial-arts, he's never experienced any violence and is basically a pacifist. We live mentally in different worlds, I doubt it has ever even occurred to him what he would do if somebody attacked him, it's a scenario I consider every week in training.

All this to say, my friends are great. They're good for laughs, good to rely on and talk to, fun and interesting. However, it concerns me to know that if shit ever hit the fan and it was a life-or-death situation, some of them would not be reliable. One time, I was walking down the street and there was a women screaming because a man was trying to attack her car while her and her two children were inside. I immediately stepped in and involved myself assertively, which caused him to back down as he knew I was willing to escalate if I had to. I can't help but think that if some of my friends were there they would either just freeze as they've never even considered something like this happening, or they would desperately try to avoid danger pulling me away saying "it's not worth it just leave it's none of our business". If I can't rely on them for those situations, I feel like it's a problem for me.

Submitted May 07, 2024 at 07:27PM by Fit_Specific4658 https://ift.tt/VzvBC7S