Wednesday, September 15, 2021

Not so great encounter, lessons learned


Was not sure I was going to make this post, but I hope that my mistakes in this situation may help someone else, so here it goes. It’s been about 15 hours since the time of this encounter, which has given me time to cool and to think about it. I apologize in advance for the lengthy post, I just wanted to give as good of an accounting of the situation as I could.Situation: I work a later 2nd shift, so I typically work out later in the evening / early am. Tonight my girlfriend and I get out of the gym, are chatting for a few minutes before we go our separate ways. Her car is parked facing my car. Not many people in the parking lot as it’s 2am, but it’s fairly well lit, not a very crime ridden area so I’m not on high alert.As we’re chatting, I hear a loud engine approaching quick and out of the corner of my eye spot this grey SUV coming our direction fast - I didn’t immediately think much of it as there are a lot of teenagers and people in their early 20s who work out here and drive erratically / have loud cars, but I did keep an eye on it as it approached. Looked like he was going to pull into a parking spot and go in, but he quickly pulls a hard turn and is now adjacent / crooked next to us. So I turn to him, he rolls down the window and tells me he’s looking for weed. I jokingly tell him we don’t have any that we just came from the gym, but wish we did and wish him luck in his search - in an effort to keep the interaction short and mellow. I turn back to my girlfriend who is sitting in her car, door open on my left (guy on my right) expecting him to take the social cue and drive off, but keep glancing at him out of the corner of my eye. About a minute after I turn back around as he’s just staring at us, and wish him a good night and tell him we’re going to head out - again trying not to escalate and possible situation. I then turn back to my girlfriend again, guy doesn’t pull off.This is where things went wrong and the interaction escalated - my girlfriend then leans out and goes “do you fucking need something?” To which he replies “I want some weed bitch”, she then says “well we don’t have any so fuck off” - there goes keeping it civil and leaving. Man starts screaming at my girlfriend, and trying to find something in his car. I try to deescalate and say something to the extent of “look man don’t talk to her like that, but I’m sorry we couldn’t help you were just gonna go now” - I should have left the “don’t talk to her” part out, but at this point my adrenaline is pumping.Guy raises his tone and starts opening the door of his car, still looking for something and says something to the extent of “yeah what are you gonna do about it? I’m gonna show you what I’m going to do”. At this point I’m in fear that he’s trying to find a gun or a knife, girlfriends car is not started and she’s not blocked in per se but could easily be. So I move slowly to my car and reach into where I keep my handgun, upholstering but not drawing or bringing it into sight as to not further escalate the situation but to be ready to use if he came out with a weapon - keeping and eye on him as he is now half way out of his car something in his right hand that I can’t see. And just like that it was all over, he yells something about me being a pussy and drives off. Not sure if the guy planned to rob us, or was simply looking for weed, but it’s not a situation I would like to be in again.I don’t think words can express how thankful I am that the interaction ended there. I would much rather be called an insult and be able to go home afterwards than the alternative. That being said there was a lot to learn from the situation, please feel free to add anything to the conversation but here were my main takeaways:Deescalation and not letting a situation get to an aggressive point is an all parties involved activity. I had to talk to my girlfriend about not making things worse no matter how much you want to spout something back.Lurking in the open where no one else is, is not a great place to spend time.Keep it casual and keep it moving, as soon as I told him we couldn’t help we should have left.It took far too long to retrieve my handgun, even though I moved pretty quick, but if the need had arose I may not have had time. In any situation on body is the only correct way.In a situation like this or anytime where there is a possibility of drawing your firearm you have to make that choice - the choice of whether you are willing to use it and if it’s warranted, and you have to make that decision fast. I’ve seen a lot of discussion on here and had this conversation with instructors, about having a list of people you’re willing to defend and put your life on the line for. I’m glad that I had thought this through before this situation ever occurred, with the context of him reaching for something and getting out I feared we may have been in extreme danger and I was able to justify using my weapon if it were needed. I encourage anyone who hasn’t to make a list and think it through.Need to make a plan incase something of this nature ever happens again.Be thankful that it all ended well, and take a deep breath.TLDR: Got harassed in the gym parking lot, encounter escalated, person left. Learned many lessons from encounter. via /r/CCW https://ift.tt/397FOpW

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