Ive never discussed this openly and want to share my experience. This occurred 10+ years ago and I have been legally cleared in the US. A post detailing an event was shared and I responded with the following. Let me know if you have an informed opinion or any questions.
I don’t think there is one singular answer to “How do people recover from self defense killings?”. I have recovered from my situation (and with minimal professional help), but it took a long time.
Over the years I’ve come to know a few people who have had more violent/traumatic experiences and needed more time to get back on track. Not saying anything other than the situations people go through and how they recover are almost as wide/broad as the earth. Just try and help someone if you ever see them in a situation that you think might show up on this page….
Specifics on mine…..
I was in college in a southeast metropolitan area (I paid $75/month for a bedroom and access to kitchen of a nice house in a questionable neighborhood).
Nearly a year to the day of moving in, a guy comes through the living room window, screaming. The lady I rented the house from (in her 70s), came screaming into my room. I threw her into the bathroom near my room and did my instinctual best to figure out where the guy was in the house (it was a large rectangular house with a hallway that ran the center - so I didn’t know if he might approach from in front or my left.
After a minute or so, I see him in front of me, wielding a large piece of glass from the broken window, threatening to cut me if I don’t let him use the phone.
As this exchange continues, he is inching closer to me. At the same time, I have a shotgun that I’m aiming at him and “cocking” in an effort to intimidate him. I guess he didn’t realize that I didn’t have any shotgun shells in it or immediately available.
Maybe it was 15 seconds and maybe it was 45 seconds, but at some point I found a shotgun shell and within a half second I loaded it and shot.
He fell back and I heard him scream and ramble into the dark/living room. I sat there in the dark for 2-5 minutes (no bearing on time) waiting for him to pop out again and attack me. Next thing I know, the sheriff department is outside the house, guns pointed at me, telling me to go open the garage and let them in. They made me drop the shotgun and walk to the door unarmed, except for a baseball bat.
Never will I forget, walking across carpet and almost slipping because of how much blood was on the floor. I made it to the garage and let the sheriffs in. They cleared the house and turned all the lights on.
The guy, who ended up being on multiple drugs, found his way to a spare bedroom that only had a small sun window (maybe 8”x14”). There was an insane amount of blood spread across the walls (suspected because he was trying to find a light switch or window and it was pitch black). Somehow he made it through the back window but bled out in the back yard.
You don’t forget details of killing someone.
For years, at least 6-7, I would occasionally “wake up” to a large spider crawling on the ceiling. As soon as I would focus on it and see what it was, it would jump from the ceiling to my face. Thankfully, I don’t see it as often any more but the 1-2x/year I do,
Submitted October 23, 2022 at 11:53PM by SpherionX https://ift.tt/mlF1P6X
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