I’m a male and about to be 27y/o I really wanna start learning some kind of martial art for self defense but sometimes wish I would’ve started sooner. Anyway, does anyone have advice for anyone who maybe didn’t start when they were in their teens or earlier twenties?
I work in a department store that's very crowded.
While I was putting merchandise on the shelves, and angry aggressive guy starts causing a scene behind me.
He was yelling at another customer, telling him to get out of his way. Shouting obesities. Then he directed his anger towards me. He easily could have just walked backwards, turned to his right, and got to where he needed to go.
But NOOOO, we had to move out of his way.
I have pepper spray.
I wanted to tell him to go around us.
I wanted to just say / do something.
But I didn't do anything.
Or say anything.
I just pretended he wasn't even there.
I felt like a coward.
In the end, the dumbass wound up shoving his way through, and getting into the aisle.
That all could have been avoided if he used his 2 braincells to do what I said above: walk around.
I wanted to say, "Why didn't you just go around?"
But honestly, I was scared.
He seemed like the kind of loser to throw his life away in a random stupid situation.
What if that animal had a gun/knife on him?
What if my pepper spray didn't work?
What if it did work, and I got fired? (I'm not a regular worker - I make a great living from my job, and because I have a criminal record, it's hard to find a job for me.)
A part of me thinks I made the smart decision by not doing anything...
But the other part of me thinks, "I should have done something." And now I still feel like a coward.
I feel those internal instincts shouting at me that I should have done SOMETHING.
Be honest? Were my actions cowardly? Or did I do "the right thing." Or was it both?
Hey all! I’m a BJJ blue belt training around 2.5 years, and currently work as a Fireman. I love BJJ and grew up in the martial arts, and I’d love to expand my skillset and knowledge and wanted to know of any courses to become a certified self defense instructor that you would recommend? Thanks!🤙🏽
I, 14F, want to begin learning self-defense/martial arts for health and self-defense purposes. There's no good way for me to take in-person lessons (busy-ish schedule and nowhere near me that has beginner lessons for my age-range), and I'm very new to this, so I wanted to know if anyone had advice?
I've done the bare minimum research-wise, and I might be good with grappling since I throw my brother over my shoulder and slam him onto the couch a lot (though he is only 65lbs, so not sure how impressive that actually is despite me not being athletic at all), but hitting's obviously important, too.
Does anyone know of good online resources for learning? Thanks a lot ^^
What's the most unconventional thing that works great for self defense?
Pepper spray or bear spray for self defense?
I'm looking for something mostly for home security and personal protection if I'm out and about somewhere for awhile. Of course I wouldn't be able to bring bear spray with me like that since the size is large but if it's in a backpack or something if I'm out at an event or have it for the house in case something happens. However the shit is $50+ and it's damn near just a single use thing. Really don't expect to have to use it though so might be worth it.
As far as pepper spray though, what's more effective and the strongest; tear gas/CS gas or regular pepper spray/OC spray? Are there any good ones that incorporate both?
Would you recommend a gel or a spray? I've heard gel is better especially if they start to rub it into their eyes, etc, while the spray works well, it isn't as effective because it's simpler to get off/dodge. I seen a comment on reddit a lil while ago talking about bear spray gel? Wouldn't that work as well? The strength of bear mace but in a gel concentrate?
I've also heard about the foam too but don't think that's as effective as either of these?
Looking for the strongest and most effective stuff we could get. Probably won't get it for a lil while but figured to ask now so I know what to look for! Thanks for any advice, knowledge and experience! Hope everyone is having a good day and that everyone in your lives is safe, healthy and alive.
Why tf does bear spray/mace cost so much?
It honestly seems extortionate. You have these big ol canisters that only spray for 10-15 seconds before it's empty, while you're usually spending more than $50 for it. It just doesn't seem logical or practical.
Hi all! I’m doing my undergraduate dissertation this year, focusing on the relationship between women, self defence, and the internet, especially in the US. If anyone here would be interested in giving an interview (anonymous or not) about any of these topics for my dissertation, or would be comfortable leaving a comment or starting a discussion on a particular point, that would be incredibly useful. I am studying Politics and Social Anthropology at The University of Cambridge, and my email is marthagazzardanthropology@gmail.com. Please do get in contact with any questions or comments, and I hope this is ok to post! Thank you!
This is something I see spouted over and over again.
"Just run away, they can't hurt you if you run, why would you risk your life when you can just run etc"
I think this sentiment is most commonly pushed by people who have never experienced an altercation before, in their minds avoiding danger is so easy by just running away.
The reality is it's never that simple. For one it assumes you won't be chased or you run faster than your attacker. Does everyone just think they're always faster than everyone else? Most people who are not out of shape run equally fast, but there's also the chance your attacker could even be faster than you.
The next problem is distance. If your attacker is only a few feet away and they give chase then you are not creating a lot of distance. They can reach out and shove you off balance, they can get a free hit on your back, and if you slip or fall they will be right on top of you before you can recover. So now you've traded a defensive position (facing your opponent) for the worst place to be, bottom position.
Next we need to consider where are you running? Is it possible to run? I just watched a video where a guy got stabbed on a train in Canada during a dispute and turned around and booked it. On a train. With an open floor plan. The other guy just chased him and stabbed him more. Of course no one helped.
That is a major consideration. There is not always an escape route. Even on the street you have roads full of fast moving cars, crowded sidewalks, objects and other environmental hazards that can get in your way or hurt you.
Not to mention with adrenaline and potential injuries it can be very difficult to navigate at high speeds, and its not easy to make sharp turns while sprinting to avoid danger. Many people run into the road and get hit by cars. Roads are everywhere and cut you off at the end of every city street.
If you want to turn the corner you have to slow down enough so that you don't slip, potentially giving your pursuer enough time to close the gap and tackle you. I've seen so many videos of people running from danger and falling that it makes the movie trope basically a real thing.
You also have to consider what you're wearing. Are you a woman that occasionally likes to wear high heels or bulky footwear? Well that would be a bad night to get attacked. Maybe you're feeling leisurely and wearing flip flops, or restrictive heavy clothing. Either way if you're not dressed appropriately then that could be detrimental.
And finally the last thing I want to mention is social liability. You might be with a loved one, your child, a friend, whoever. You cannot always just drop who you're with and book it. You may be leaving them to a terrible fate. Your life will never be the same. You may not even be able to cope. And lets face it, how often are you actually alone?
So as you can see there's a plethora of reasons when running may not always be the best option. This is why training and carrying a tool is so important.
That's not to say running doesn't have it's place and in many situations it is absolutely the best option. It's just about using good judgment to know when that is.
An active shooter or terrorist event, or even when you spot danger ahead of time are all good examples of when to run. You must also be training your sprints if you ever plan on using it reliably.
In any case if you use good judgment, carry a tool and practice good situational awareness and deescalation you are already more prepared than 99% of the population. Sorry for the long post, i hope this helps some people understand the nuances of running as a defensive strategy.
If A guy with no amateur boxing experience got into a street fight but he has years like 2-4 years sparring with amateur boxers how well could he defend himself against a average guy ?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ipf1mROm6rg
There's a huge problem with the self defense championship that Natan has kind of brought to the forefront.
It's that to EFFECTIVELY defend yourself you have to go at or near 100% because your attackers are not going to respect your shots and admit that a kick or punch would have stopped them in their tracks unless it ACTUALLY does make them stop in their tracks.
It seemed like the attackers were getting legitimately pissed off at Natan for going so hard. But I understand where Natan's coming from because it's like, I just landed a headkick on you, but pulled it back at the last second and you are just gonna walk through it like it didn't happen??? This happened to Jeff Chan many times already.
I think the solution to this problem would be to either set some more clear rules for the attackers like if you get headkicked, round is over, defender won. If you get spinning back kicked round over, and maybe like if you take an overhand right directly to the face or chin, round over.
I would probably put my money on Natan winning the whole thing because I don't think the other guys are willing to go that far just to win.. But once again I understand where Natan is coming from.
So, I was just assaulted because of a bout of road rage. The guy followed me, pulled up and tried to grab me.
I have some training but it's been a few years since anything has happened so I'm proud that I kept my cool, was able to keep him at arms length, and my only injury is a nip to my inner arm.
Now, this was in broad daylight, with plenty of witnesses and the guy left himself open on so many occasions that I would have been well within my rights to knock him out. However, I have work in an hour, and couldn't be bothered dealing with all the hassle that comes with this sort of shit.
My background is some boxing, JKD, and a little Krav Maga and I was brought up to go all out when the need arises but I would have loved to have been able to use some non-violent take downs using pressure points, or something similar. I had to fight with myself not to knock the guy out as it would have been the quick and easy thing to do, but I'm getting old and can't be bothered with the fallout.
What would /r/selfdefense recommend for this type of altercation?
Yeah, probably talked too many times. But search as broken as it is, did not find anything recent/relevant.
There was an uptick of aggressive/drunk people either in the traffic or neighborhood.
I am 45y old, (after knee surgery, but knee holding up), decently fit male doing HEMA longsword. Carrying a baton is not always an option (too big for pockets and sometimes I do not have anything else just trousers with pockets), I really dislike guns or knives.
Would this be a decent idea? If so, which brand/type?
Hello, i am looking to get into some type of martial arts or something similar to learn some different ways to defend myself/ fight back. i am 23F and i am very short, 4foot 11 to be exact lol. so i feel like learning to defend myself is crucial for my safety when im out and about in the world. What would you recommend for a female my height to take to learn self defence and just generally how to fight back against others if im ever in a potentially dangerous/ deadly situation?
thank you!
Mace? Stun gun? I recently took care of two patients who pepper sprayed their attackers and then went on to get badly beaten. Seems like the pepper spray only served to enrage the suspects. I always carried pepper spray but now I have no confidence in it.
Do you know that United States actually has its very own martial arts system? Developed by Marines and for Marines MCMAP a real combat martial art, not a sport. Civilians can also study it for self-defense.
Like traditional martial arts of the East, MCMAP also has philosophical/ethical component. It strives to develop an Ethical Warrior who embodies core Marine values.
MCMAP manual with techniques is available on Amazon. Book "Ethical Warrior" by Jack Hoban describes the ethical side.
When imagining self defence scenarios I worry about bringing attention to myself and causing a fuss and disruption in the neighbourhood.
I currently have a fear of not being able to scream and bring attention to myself, as I have heard the best thing to do is to get out the situation and bring attention.
Hi,
I can’t afford both. Which should I do first? 29M married no children.
Firearm lessons - already own a 9 MM just don’t know how to use it. Or…
Martial arts self defense.
Plan to do both. But which takes priority? Which is first?
Thanks
Hello all! What should be my first martial arts gym? Near me there are 3 options: krav maga / muay thai / mma (muay thai and BJJ). Im average male, 5' 9 (1.75), 34 years, skinny, goes to gym every week but my cardio sucks (i hate running). My first thought is to visit all 3 gyms and see which one I have the best first impression. (all 3 have really good reviews on google maps). Whats your opinion?
susceptible to robberies or being abused at night ?
I know the recommendation is not to react. However, there is a group of robbers who marked me and said they would kill me if I didn't get what they wanted next time. I have to walk past the same place at night. There is no other way. I need something to defend myself when the robbery occurs. They didn't come armed with guns, i guess, but with knives.
There are two. I can outrun them, but when I was robbed they were hiding and jumped on me. I would need something to stun them and loosen me up and then run
This question is for the guys what would you do if a woman hits you with higher hills shoes in your face couple of times and refuse you to walk away and block you from the corridor and still continue to hit you as many times as she can and as hard as possible?
What would you do in a scenario like that?
Hi, I'm living in the same house with an aggressive-ish dog and don't know how to protect myself. It growls at me frequently and I'm afraid it will bite me someday. The dog belongs to my parents. I live with them because I have a chronic illness and am financially dependent, so I can't just move out.
I don't know what kind of protective device to get, but if I do get one, it will have to be something covert because if my parents found out about it, they would probably forbid me to use it on their dog. (By the way, they refuse to believe that there's a problem.)
Are there budget-friendly, covert devices out there that are effective enough to deter an aggressive dog?
So first, no names locations. Im going to be brief. I met a girl,(absolutely no adult themes, just friends she was clear from the get go and I respected it, )we live very near each other and suddenly things just did a 180. Over the last week there's been strange vehicles in the road on front of the building and the neighbors camera picked up several ppl running around the cars, this is all at around 1a-3a. So I found out almost everything she told me about her life is a lie. She shifts blame to different ppl depending on what guy she talks to. So I'm not concerned about her but how should I properly handle this? I distanced myself today, she instantly exploded,to be expected, I know she was just using me. So my main question: this is a tactic to get me to run her errands, I know that but all the other stuff I hear, she knows I hear it, it's all for show right?
Every time I go somewhere, people walk all over me. Literally. People will run into me, shove me, elbow me, step out in front of my way so that I have to move around them; I’m tired of being the one who moves around people, I want them to move around me for a change!
The reason this happens is I look physically weak. I’m short, 5’3, and very thin.
However, I have a stick with me when I go for walks on the beach or at the park. I hold it at an angle to make distance between me and whoever is walking near me. I’ve noticed that they will move out of my way then. No shoving or elbowing me when I’ve got that stick!
I obviously can’t hold a stick when I go to every day places. But I was wondering if there is maybe something similar I can have with me to keep people from doing this. Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated!
When ever im in public, a lot of the times I avoid eye contact with most people I walk by, not because im scared or feel intimitated I just dont feel like striking a conversation, or have to be polite or nice. But when I look away with my eyes, my ears become my eyes and im very aware of what is going on around me, But I always wondered do i appear weak for doing this?
I walk with confidence and purpose, I dont appear weak physically and im aware of my surroundings. Just want to clarify its not like im purposely looking the other way, I just pretty much look past them just no eye contact with 100% of the people I walk past
Hi, my daughter is 10 and wants to start coming and going places alone, meaning school, or close by places, like a shop.
We live in a mainly safe place, small town in Portugal and everything is at walking distance. The main problem are cars running very fast and a certain group of people that usually won't give any problems, but at some given moments they are known for even attacking other people.
I'm not letting her go alone when it's dark or to anywhere I don't know, but I'd like to start training her about dangerous stuff and how to defend or avoid situations.
She's not very tall, and is skinny, which honestly would make it easier for someone with evil intentions to grab her.
Thanks so much for everything 💪
My summer break is ending and I am returning to high school this Wednesday. However I live in a school with a lot of wannabe gang members and fights and before the break I had made a lot of "enemies" and I'm worried about getting attacked by multiple people is there any way I can avoid this aside from staying near staff members (it's a bit school staff members can be scarce) at this point I don't know what to do
I’ve been thinking about but a 12 Gauge for Home defense, but part of me says I don’t actually need it. My reasoning for this being that my defensive arsenal already includes: a Glock 17 chambered in 9mm(Hollowpoints), a Colt M1911 chambered .45 ACP(Hollowpoints), a Ka-Bar USMC Combat Knife, a baseball bat, and a pair of brass knuckles. In the event of a Home-invasion, how fucked am I really without a 12 Gauge?
I wanted to talk about an encounter with an aggressive drug addict I had today and get some thoughts on whether I handled the entire thing correctly. Today in my lunch break I met up with my mom for lunch and we sat down outside at a restaurant located at a busy plaza in my town. I mention this because I want to highlight that the entire thing happened in broad daylight and with plenty of witnesses. Shortly after we arrived, a somewhat disheveled-looking guy about my age (late 20s, maybe he was slightly older) with slightly dirty clothes sat down two tables away from us. He has a black eye and some other light markings of injury on that side of his face and he seems to be mumbling to himself, so I'm already kind of wary and try to avoid eye-contact. I notice the waiters having a similar reaction, but they nonetheless take his order.
After a few minutes, a couple with a small child walks past us - well not exactly past us, they were like 20-30 meters away from us - and the child is bawling her eyes out. The guy starts yelling at the child telling it to be quiet, calls it "mentally handicapped" and imitates a crying sound. My mom and I are beginning to feel uncomfortable at this point. I start thinking about whether I should step in some form, but he luckily stops after a few seconds. The couple didn't react, I'm not sure if they even noticed as the plaza was quite busy.
The homeless guy begins unboxing a seemingly new pair of wireless earplugs. Luckily, aside from mumbling to himself, he just sits there and sips on his drink peacefully. However, a few minutes later, after I had almost forgotten he was there, he suddenly gets up and first walks towards and then right around our table while muttering something unintelligible to himself before returning to his table and sitting back down. At this point, I'm getting more uncomfortable and start to consider changing tables. My mum is increasingly wary of the guy also. Nonetheless, we stay put. The guy clearly seems confused but aside from yelling at that couple earlier, he hasn't done anything yet. But then, like a minute later, I'm suddenly hit on the cheek by some projectile. I'm like wtf is going on here; I look down at what just hit me and it turns out it's the charging box or whatever you call it of homeless guy's new earplugs. I'm still thinking about what I should be doing when the guy stands up, walks over to our table, and picks up the charging thingy. My mom, who is equally shocked as me, confronts the guy and asks him what he thinks he's doing and tells him that he has injured me which is kind of an exaggeration as the hit didn't really hurt. Meanwhile, I'm still figuring out my course of action, so I just downplay it and say it wasn't that bad, trying to de-escalate the situation for now. Ngl, I was also a bit scared in that moment. Guy doesn't apologize but says he has Tourette syndrome and some neuro-something spasticity (don't remember exactly what he said) that causes him to sometimes lose control of his motor skills or something like that. All the while he's walking around looking for his earplugs which he apparently also threw away when he threw the charging box at me. He goes to another table where an elderly couple is sitting and out of nowhere just picks up on of the chairs at that table to look for his missing earplug which the couple of course isn't too thrilled by, but they don't say anything, perhaps because he looks and acts kind of erratic and aggressive.
So to finish this up as I already wrote a literal essay, eventually nothing happens, he sits back down and we stay at the table because my mom said she didn't want to provoke the guy by changing tables. He gets a talking to from one of the waiters and we quickly finish our lunch and leave. Even though nothing really happened in the end, I still felt kind of emasculated if I'm being honest. Like this guy threw stuff at me, didn't apologize and I just took it and even tried to de-escalate. I even told the waiter that everything was fine and that it was no big deal even though I was fuming inside and felt very uncomfortable with the situation. I'm not a small guy (6ft, not super muscular but also not super thin) but have no fighting experience and I kept thinking that this guy could have a knife or something. I still felt like I could have stood up for myself a bit more even when de-escalating if that makes sense.
Anyway. Sorry if something is unclear, English is my 2nd language.
Does carrying pepper spray visibly on a keychain in your hands when you're walking outside/around in public help deter an attack before it happens?
I'm not asking if pepper spray can stop an attack in progress or if it even works against attackers.
Would having a visible self-defense tool likely make the criminal choose an easier target than you?
