Current predicament - can anyone relate?

 To start, im a 20 year old male. For as long as I can remember I’ve always been obsessed with weapons; mainly firearms. Over the past few years I’ve been collecting various knives, firearms, militaria, etc. I was always understanding of how a situation could go wrong and that the time may come when I need to defend myself. For a long time I actually could keep a level head in stressful situations, always a positive outlook even. But throughout my teen years I used marijuana heavily and I eventually became incredibly anxious after one bad experience. Ever since I’ve been prone to anxiety attacks and even panic. I’ve done a good job of beating it back and not having one for extended periods of time. Anymore I can only think of a situation where I might need to defend myself and just having this overwhelming/buckling fear take over to the point where I feel like I can’t hack it. It’s so strange growing up with a ready to go mindset only for me to be more of a pussy than I was in my adolescence. Then again I feel like most would react with an anxiety attack after discharging a firearm in self defense. Does anyone have any tips or maybe personal experiences? 

Submitted September 04, 2022 at 12:34AM by AUTO_SEAR4774 https://ift.tt/GJRWc7D